SPEAKER_02 1:17

That one word is doing a lot of work. And I'll see day, day, day, day, and I'll go, you don't know the first thing about writing. That's the business. We don't call it show friendship. Every scene needs to be cause and effect. That's what we call good writing.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Welcome to Acting Smarter Now. Today we have a most exciting episode. I have one of my favorite showrunner, producer, writers who is going to give us a masterclass in the elements of a script. So for you actors who really need to know how to write properly, I know a lot of you actors are looking to write your own script. So today we're gonna walk you through how to write a sitcom and the elements you need for it. So without further ado, let me introduce to you the man of the hour, Mr. Danny Kales.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Oh, Lydia, you're so good for me. It is such a pleasure to be doing this again with you.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

I love having you because we're always learning something. Every time you come on this channel, there is so much for us to learn and discover because of your brilliance.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Well, you know, it's funny, you talk, I appreciate that, and you talk about this as being something really geared for uh actors out there, which is pretty cool because I I certainly have in my day met a lot of actors who want to write their own stuff. Not, I shouldn't say a lot, but more than a few. How's that? And I will never forget being on a strike line, and this actor whom I had hired was right next to me carrying a WGA strike sign. And it was uh Rob uh McElhaney who wrote created Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

And I had hired him, and we were chatting as we carried our picket signs, and he uh he said, you know, I I I wrote this script with a couple of buddies, uh, and they they they're gonna make the show. And I said, Great, what's it called? Thinking to myself, oh God, another actor writing a script that's not gonna go anywhere. And it was always sunny in Philadelphia, and it is now the longest-running live action comedy, I think, in history. I mean, The Simpsons is animated, but live action no less. So good for you actors who want to write your own stuff, uh, who have a voice that uh goes beyond the character you may want to play. You get to fade out, and you will be forever now known as a writer.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yes, I love that. So let's start with the very first page of a script.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Oh, what a great idea. And by the way, that page is not the one that has interior and stage directions and dialogue. That is a title page, and it is important for a whole bunch of reasons, uh, not the least of which is that you've got the title of your show on it. And titles are not easy to come by, and they are very much the first thing that's gonna grab an executive, that's going to grab an audience. And if it's uh in a trailer or if it's on a poster, like the one that you can see behind me, the attack of the 50-foot woman, was done by my father, who was an art director, and came up with uh that particular poster way back from the 50s. Fairly, fairly iconic if you're into poster art. And he went in to see these guys who wanted him to do an ad campaign for this B, dare I say C movie, uh that they had made. And he had done something for Roger Corman. I don't think Roger did this one. No, you know, uh Roger was known as King of the Bees. Anyway, Dad came in, he rarely saw the movies, but he would say uh things like uh, okay, uh, what's it called? And they said to him, Well, we don't have a title yet. And then he said, Well, what's it about? Oh, it's about this woman who is uh you know radiated in some nuclear accident, which was a real big theme back in the 50s. And uh she becomes this uh 50-foot woman and she terrorizes this town. And my dad said, Well, why don't we call it Attack of the 50-foot woman? And the rest is movie history. Um, when I went to Netflix and uh you know asked how they were what they were looking for, uh the first thing that the executive said to me was, Well, think of us as like a magazine stand. Okay, you walk up and you see all of these magazines with different covers, different names and titles. And you're browsing, so we want something that's going to grab the audience's attention and make them want to watch that show or that movie. So I thought, well, I I know all about that because that's what the poster art did. They never had stars in any of these movies that were B-rated movies, but something had to grab them. And the only thing they had to grab them was the title page. What the title page gives you is not only the title, like for example, I'm looking at a script here, Ted Lasso, and it says Ted Lasso, and underneath it it has pilot on it. Now, I also have a script over here called the The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which came decades earlier, and it says Pilot on it, but it also says, with quotations, the title of the episode. And the title of the episode is Love is All Around. Now, if any of you want to go back and watch the original Mary Tyler Moore show, and I recommend that you do. There has rarely been anything better in the genre of a comedy about a woman essentially setting the template for the working woman who didn't follow the well-beaten path of mom and uh you know wife or wife and mom in those days. And Love is all around ended up being the title of the theme song for the entire series, as well as one of the most famous main titles in television history, which uh was the iconic Mary Tyler Moore in Minneapolis, uh taking off her hat in the middle of a crowd and throwing it up in the air, which visually was the whole series right there. It was this woman in the middle of a strange city saying, you know, I'm throwing myself into life. But all of that's contained on a pilot page of all things. And then, of course, there's written by James L. Brooks and Alan Burns. Now, the significance of that is they are not only the creators of the show, which is established in a pilot, but they ended up being the showrunners for that show. Whereas in Ted Lasso, they have story by, and then they have Jason Sudakis, Bill Lawrence, Joe Kelly, Brendan Hunt, but teleplay by Jason Sudeikis and Bill Lawrence. So when you split up on the title page, story by and teleplay by, you are establishing who created the series and who gets what's called separated rights in the series, which is when you get money for things like merchandise. Not money for when it sells into some other format, or rather, in this case, I guess in this day and age, uh selling onto a new streaming platform. But you get money for those profits that come outside of simply writing the script. So Story Buy bestows upon the writer both the created by credit, which leads to ownership, but the teleplay by credit, which in this case was Jason Sidakis and Bill Lawrence, who were also on the story, they get the majority of the money for writing the script. So when you go to get paid, the story by credit gets you 25% of the script payment, but it gets you all the ownership. Whereas teleplay by gets you the majority of the money for actually writing the script. Now there are exceptions to this, especially if you write Bibles that are separate from, and if you really did a major rewrite on the pilot, there are ways the Writers Guild will arbitrate to determine if the changes you made as the teleplay writer make a difference. But I digress. The point being, title page is kind of important. It also tells me the date it was written, and it also tells me what draft. Is it a first draft? Is it a final draft? Is it a production draft? All of that information is on the title page.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Okay, can we stay here for a minute? Because you you gave so much information. The first thing was when you're reading the title page and it says a pilot, if you're an actor who is looking at a pilot's script to get an idea of what your format would be, or just to get an idea of how they're painting the world of that show, you made a point of saying you should watch the Mary Tyler Moore pilot, but should you also watch when you're reading it, should you also watch whatever pilot it is that you are looking at the script to?

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Oh, without a doubt. The reason is you want to see the changes that occurred between the script you read and the script that was shot. Now, many times it's hard to get your hands on the original pilot. You tend to get your hands on the final draft that was produced of a pilot. But I unless it's in a production format, which is different than the format we're going to discuss today, you can't tell. If it's in a production format, that gives you a clue that you're not looking at the original pilot as written by the writers. And what that format tends to have is shot numbers on either side, if it's a single camera show, because it's broken down in such a way that you can board a script, which means put it on a production board and you shoot all of the exterior scenes on one day, all the interior scenes on another. It's a whole different process, but the formatting that unites it all together, same script, different numbers, if you will. I should say different order of numbers. But I think that for what we're discussing, we're talking about non-production drafts. So, yes, read the script, watch what actually ended up on the screen.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

One other question, because you were talking about money, my ears perked up.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

I saw it was like it was like the headphones just rose right there off your head.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

All right. So, story by gets you merchandise.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Yes, it's called separated rights. It also gets you a series royalty, meaning every time it's played, you get a small amount of money. And that's obviously uh helpful. The big money really comes from whatever deal you separately negotiated with the studio when you wrote the script. And that's usually a percentage of profits. And the key there is are you getting net profits or adjusted gross profits? If you get adjusted gross profits, like I did uh when I did a show called Hang In with Mr. Cooper, and it sold into syndication, I saw real money that came from that. And uh and it was determined by the fact that I was on the show for a year. Had I stayed on longer, I would have gotten more. But we're not going to go down that road. Uh that that's a negotiated between the studio and you as the writer. If you get net profits, which was all I ever got when I did like Disney shows, because the mouse is cheap, those are dollars that you pretty much never see. Because the accounting under net profits pretty much says you owe them money.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Hey Hector, are you tired of being tired of being tired of being tired? Your pictures aren't working, you're not getting into auditions, your agents aren't calling you back, or worse off, you can't even get an agent. Well, if that sounds like you, if it sounds like you are at your wit's end, that you just feel like all is lost, you don't know what to do, come and join us at the Acting Smarter Circle, where we are a community of actors who help other actors. And I am your guide and your coach to help you with a plan, strategy, and your branding. So if you are interested and you're tired of being tired and ready for change, come and join us at ActingSmarterCircle.com. We're waiting for you now. One other question before we turn from the title page onto the first page. If you are a new writer, as my actors would be, there would be a new writer writing a pilot and uh their negotiation ability might not be as strong as someone who's been doing it for a longer period of time. Am I right on that, or is that not really true?

SPEAKER_02 18:07

You are 100% right.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

So don't expect to get a big pot on your first uh sell of a script.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Well, you know, again, it it somewhat depends on a number of factors. Is there a bidding war for it, for example? Your agent uh manager might be able to get you more because it's in demand. But mostly you can expect, as a first-time writer, to get some version of a minimum payment from the WGA general agreement. And these days, because there are so many different types of platforms, the amount of those minimums varies wildly so. Network has always been where you got the most. Streamers, uh, cable, it was less. But as you observed at the start, if you are an established writer like a you know a Bill Lawrence's or a Sean DeRimes, uh you're going to get their, what they call it, their pilot price, which is pretty lucrative.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

This is good to know because sometimes people think I'm gonna sell this pilot and I'm gonna be a billionaire. And it's not it's not always the case.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Yeah, no, I think it's it's wise to manage expectations. I say aim low and avoid disappointment.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

I like that. Okay, so we've just covered the title page, and now we're opening the script to the first page.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

Isn't it great that we finally got to a first page after all of this? Uh the one thing I want to say though is before you got to the title page and before you got to the first page of your script, you have hopefully done, come up with what your title is by this point. Maybe you haven't, but hopefully you have. The second is that you've written some form of a pitch, which could be anywhere from a paragraph to a one page, which gives us, if not a beginning, middle, and end of what your pilot is with the lead characters uh laid out, if you will. You know, or you you then go from that to a treatment, or you finally get to outline, which is a little longer version. And in that step process, you begin to utilize the elements of the script. And in this case, the elements that I'm talking about are commonly found on like a final draft program or some other script writing program, which makes it a lot easier than when I started out, and we were using, you know, stone tablets and uh those typewriters that hit those keys very strongly. Yeah, and then they'd get caught together, and you'd have to yeah, you pull them back. Oh, oh, the stone. Oh my god, it was awful. And then the Selectric came along. The IBM Selectric.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

With that lovely little white um corrector type to go back and get rid of that mistake.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

And then it gave you enough of a memory that it could remember back what you had typed for about, oh, I don't know, 13, 14 characters. So now I was a very fast typist, you know, uh, and so that selector had a ball, you know, that was bouncing off that uh round thing there. Uh, and I would be going, you know, chick-a doom, chick-doom, chick-doom, ding, chick-doom, chick-doom, chick-a doom, ding. And then there'd be a mistake. And you'd hit the erase, and I'd go chick-a-doom, chick-ka-doom, chick-ka doom, and it would erase it back. Oh, wow, that was technology. Uh, and then finally we got the computer, which was a godsend.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

But in the beginning, the computer would mess up and you'd lose your script.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

It was awful. I mean, I used to print out after every draft I would do. And these days with these programs, I it's not just that I save, but when I go to do a rewrite, like the next day or the next, you know, whatever, I would put the date of that rewrite so I could always go back to the previous day's work if something horrific would happen. And um, yeah, so these programs with these apps are really such a godsend. And moreover, they provide you with the elements that we're talking about. It gives you the title page and it properly formats it. It then gives you an option as to what is the format of the show you are writing. Like you said, sitcoms, what we're going to be talking about isn't just sitcoms, we're going to be talking about half-hour comedies. Uh, and there's a different format. Uh, most half-hour comedies are basically a screenplay format. They're just shorter, and they follow the same formatting elements are available. Sitcoms are different because their format is, for example, uh double spaced on the dialog, not single spaced. And as a consequence, the length of the scripts, whether it's a single camera or a multicamera, are going to be drastically different because of that spacing difference. And in sitcoms, scripts could run anywhere from 45 to 52 pages, depending on the show. And that was much longer than your prototypical single camera show, which would run anywhere from, oh gosh, it could be 32 pages up to almost 40 sometimes, depending upon the show. And the reason that's so critical in formatting is because the amount of time is relatively the same. Now, in the old days, or the legacy TV, they call it now, like on Network, I had to deliver, if it was a half hour show, I was delivering something like 22 minutes and 45 seconds of show material. The rest were commercials and promos. If it was an hour-length show, it might be 42 to 44 minutes of programming. And these scripts that we're writing now are going to give you approximately the length of your episode. You know, in in multi-camera, the rule of thumb has always been it's about a minute a page. So anything that you add in your script, which we'll call real estate for a minute, is going to increase the time potentially, or at least how much it looks like it's going to be on paper. You know, that matters to some degree, not as much as it used to, because when you're streaming, it doesn't have to be a strict page count. But if the streaming contains commercials and if it's ever going to run on a land-based rather than streaming service, they're going to want you to stick pretty close to those numbers. We'll be talking about the elements and both of these formats be it single camera or multi-camera, follow the same elements. Page count is the only thing that'll be different. And most of the ones we're going to be doing will be the single camera comedy, the half hour, which can go longer these days. Okay, so I'm looking at a Ted Lasso pilot script. And the reason I want to talk pilots is because that'll also allow us to discuss when we get into content and dialogue the big bugaboo of how do you write exposition without it being clunky and sound like it's in school and they're filling you in on the facts of the Civil War or something. So when you open your script you start usually with a fade in. Why? Well to fade into something takes a little bit of time doesn't it? Even if it's one 1000 two one thousand I'm up on a picture. That's time. And the script is real estate that translates into screen time. So there's an awareness of how your show is paced as you write it. And these elements help to lay that out. Now once you get to fade in in the case of this script it started with exterior Greenwich FC Training Grounds Morning. And that's a very common slug line. So when you go to your program and you go for scene heading that's what this is. And as soon as you type in interior exterior establishing shot you know if that's what you want it to be it will immediately default to the format. So in this case the exterior is the Greenwich FC training grounds which is I guess FC is the name of the team and it says morning which gives you time of day. Now one of the things that drives me absolutely nuts is the default in all of these programs is to day. Just day. So I'll be reading spec scripts that come in and I'll see day day day day and I'll go you don't know the first thing about writing I don't mind it saying day but if it keeps saying day and we've had a week go by, you're not using the scene heading to do the work that needs to be done to tell your story. This is valuable territory, valuable real estate in your script. It's telling me we're outside we're watching a training grounds and we're doing it in the morning. That also gives information to the lighting director or for that matter to the director we're not going to go out and shoot this scene at night why? Because the script doesn't call for it to be at night. And hopefully the writer has a reason for starting in the morning. So already I know it's the beginning of the day. That one word is doing a lot of work for you as the writer okay then it goes to a stage direction. Or in the case of film they call it the action line and most of your your screenplay apps are going to refer to it as an action line. And it will when you hit return default to an action line. It is so handy compared to the Stone Age. Oh God I wish I had it. And so let's let's let's read what the first stage direction was in this Ted Lasso pilot. We start on the vibrant green practice grounds of the Greenwich Football Club. Oh that's that's what the FC stands for. A mediocre Premier League team in Outer London. The players stretch and warm up. And that's three lines but let's look at the information that the writer gave us there and how it was done. It says we start. Now sometimes I'll say open on you know sometimes I'll give a little bit more of a shot note and I'll say close up on a pair of football cleats pull back to reveal that would have been another option. And the director when he went to shoot this scene might have decided to do something like that.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

When you get the script and it's not a shooting script it's just the script would we put close up on or do we save that for a shooting script?

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Great question. The shooting script is this script the same. The difference is what that and you can see it if you have a final draft or some other program you'll see at the top an option where it says production and that's where you can convert your script to a production script and it will fill it in for you. But no I never wrote it as a production script. It's only when it went into production that the line producer would convert the script as written so it would read the same. The difference that I'm pointing out is that this action line or stage direction which is what we refer to it in sitcoms because it's a stage play that we shoot is telling everybody from the director to the prop man to the actors what's important what do we need to see in this scene it is the visual part of your screenplay. Because dialogue hasn't happened yet that is unless it's overlapping the picture that you're showing which can often happen in editing. When you decide gee wouldn't it be good to slide this dialogue over this picture. But right now in breaking down these elements we're looking at what sort of work is this action line doing? And what it's doing is it's saying we start on the vibrant green practice grounds. Well the adjective that was chosen was vibrant and green. So we know it's a high you know it's it's a professional one. If it's it said we start on a you know a dirt riddled practice field, that would tell me something different, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

About where we are and what sort of a team are we looking at. So this is a professional training grounds. And what the they did in this script and I do in all of mine is there are important descriptions in an action slug line that are capitalized or put into bold letters if you happen to use the capitalization version like in some sitcoms, I'll bold out the important lines. In this one it says we start on the vibrant green practice grounds and practice grounds are in capital letters in the script. And the reason it's in capital letters is because we're not on the main field. And it's consistent with the scene heading that said training grounds and it's a very different location. That tells the location manager this is what we need to shoot this script. This is a scene that's happening at this place. So it's judicious writing but every word does count and it helps to paint the picture. So we start on the vibrant green practice grounds of the Greenwich Football Club. That's in capital letters the Greenwich Football club why? Because that tells everyone including like the prop master I need something in this scene that says Greenwich Football Club. It's stated here in the script I need to know and that's important it's so important I put it in capital letters and it says a mediocre Premier League team also put into capital letters in also in capital letters Outer London. Then the player's stretch players stretch is in capital letters and warm up. Now we just spent a good seven minutes talking about these three lines these three lines are doing a lot of work for the writer and a lot of work for the production crew and a lot of work for the actors even though we haven't gotten to the main actors we're going to have extras out there. So it places it in time it places it in a location and it also tells us when it says the Greenwich Football club a mediocre Premier League team. Now while there may not be anything per se that the director's going to shoot here you're talking to your extras and the director says tell them to kind of be doing it half-assed. Don't show them really intent. That's how I as a director would interpret that word being there. I'd want to get a little bit of that in that opening shot. And this opening shot is taking about yay much of the space on the first page. But it's going to do so much work in setting up what this show is because what was Ted Lasso about it was about a mediocre football team that he comes in as a completely inexperienced soccer coach and is going to turn into a winner. Oh my God it's set up in the first three lines of the piece. That's what we call good writing. And that's an element of the script that is taking advantage of what it is designed to do. Going from that we then go to the next scene heading and the next scene heading is exterior slash interior of the Greenwich FC owner's office. Now I would go shame on you I would put at that point continuous or at the same time or moments later. And it's still coming off of the stage direction or the scene heading rather that said morning. Now these guys know what they're doing they've been doing it a long time heavens forbid that I'm you know going to criticize it but what I'm pointing out is you don't have to put that in there because it's sort of implied because of the next action line. The next so after they wrote that scene heading takes us to a new scene it says we see those same players out a window. Movers bring items in and out it's an office in transition. The team's new owner Rebecca Welton capital letters and underlined because this is a character the first time we see her you capitalize every time you meet a new character. That way we know this is when that character comes into the play and brings our attention to it. And then it has in parentheses 40s resilient hides blue collar roots now that's all I get of the character description there but it's enough for me to get it as a reader. And this is the first time we're meeting her so 40s resilient hides her blue collar roots stares in capital letters stares inscrutably at a small painting on her wall almost as if she was looking through it beyond it. Now in this stage direction they're giving you and the actress an attitude to play now let's take a second here to talk to all your actors out there don't you love it when you get a little bit of direction that allows you to interpret and bring to the character something more than just the picture of staring at a painting absolutely so the writers are giving the actors an opportunity to get what's going on inside or what that it's something deeper than just looking at a painting. And now it's up to the actor to interpret that bring it to life and make it something even more meaningful than what's on the page. But this is a very short stage direction or action line but it gives you so much Rebecca well you know we see those play so by seeing this window seeing those players out there the director is going to be sure to give me that shot or he's fired. And the shot is going to be from the inside looking out I'm also going to be smart as a director and I'm going to get the shot when I'm out on the field shooting up at that window. So if I need to tie it together I can. But that's where you're not necessarily telling your director to do that. But I can guarantee you that as the exec producer on the show I might want that shot. On the other hand I might not because I'm going to get it by just looking over out the window maybe over her shoulder something like that. So Higgins capital letters and old in quotes 45. Now that's a great character moment right there an old 45 right this is judicious writing all in the action line or stage direction Higgins and old 45 middle management middle everything. As an actor that's all you need isn't it yeah now mind you when we develop projects we can spend pages giving backstories and uh exploring attitudes and of actors rather of characters that actors will portray and that's that's that's good. But when we get to writing the script I want something short that gives me that character like that. That's good writing. I'm not seeing all the work that went into that.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Right. You want to make sure you have all that work done before so when you get to the writing of it you already know what it is and you can condense it in the shortest way possible and to give the most with the the least amount of words in the thing like we like you just said old 45 middle middle middle it's like we get it in one sentence it's not well he's he's 45 but he looks like he's 90. He's you know he's been there 20 years and he has no energy that that it's really very defined in one sentence.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

Well even the alternatives you offered just now those aren't bad they you know it's it's it's that this one happens to be particularly concise. But what I know you're saying in identifying is the paragraphs that you might write. And executives love that sort of stuff. And I go oy really really that's what you need you know my favorite character description page and I might have shared it in one of our other podcasts was the one from Friends and it was you know it it was so good. They were never there was they weren't more than two and a half three lines and it tied all the characters together so brilliantly but then when they got to so when they got to script they didn't have to go back and put it into the script they put it in front but it was short it was punchy and in its own way created a little beginning middle and end when describing a character.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

You said something about uh studio executives loving the paragraphs how do you give the studio execs what they want but still um make that script so efficient in a way that we don't have all of that in the script but yet we've given it to the studio exec so they feel confident about there's a pilot that we are turning over to them.

SPEAKER_02 43:50

The answer to that question is when you you you either do what friends did which is to open up um your script uh there would have been after the title page there would have been a page that said here's the character description for friends okay but they were short and they were punchy in those days that was enough today you still want to keep it short but they just want more backstory on it. They don't trust that you know your characters and more importantly they don't know if they can sell those characters. And the truth is when you go to script it's going to be short. It's all going to be on the screen. When I created this the uh smart guy you know I didn't write a whole big backstory on all the characters. I mean I I talked about each one of them but when it got to the screen I had a school bus driving up to a high school and then I went close on the doors as they opened and outstepped a tall high school kid followed by another tall high school kid followed by the top of a little boy's head and then another tall kid behind her and then I widened out and I saw a pretty cheerleader get out and see little Taj TJ the character with his books ready for school and she said did you get on the wrong bus little boy he said nope I go to school here see you at the prom and walks off you know who that kid is right away you know the whole premise of the show at least the beginning part of it and when I pitched that pilot to them or that opening sequence I continued it into the school had a couple of other funny bits him trading lockers with a tall kid who had a bottom locker. Now he walks into the classroom he sits down at the desk in front of a pretty girl who's being worked by a cute high school boy who leans forward and flicks the kid's ear and says scram and she goes why were you so mean to that cute little kid and he says that's no cute little kid that's my brother and you know the show. So to make your network executives happy you want to be able to give them who these characters are what their backstory may be what they want and what their flaw is those are the real key elements in building characters. And of course those characters have to work to make your Series premise come alive, which you've been developing before we ever sat down to finally write your script, which is what we're doing now. So, yes, they did a lot of work for Ted Lasso on these characters, I have no doubt. And I have no doubt they pitched more of their backstories when they were talking to the executives. But as you read the script and as we see them revealed to us, this is all you need in the script for them to fill the role, and we'll get it. Where we're going with these characters, we discover as we go, and the network executives want to know all of it up front before they read the script. Hell, even after they read the script, my good friend and former writing partner, Michelle, who I still sometimes write with, was saying that she and this other writer uh were developing a show, and the script was already written, and they still wanted a long backstory pitch on it, which made me pull my hair out because I feel it's a lot of wasted work. Uh, but this is what they require today or can. But when I sit down to read a script, this is more what I'm looking for. You know, this is it's a quick read. I don't get lost, I don't lose the pace of what's happening on the page and what I'm seeing in my head as to what will be on the screen. So now we have only done a little over a third of the first page in an hour here, virtually, 40 minutes. But the significance is that as you write your script for the rest of the script, this is what you're going to be doing, the same thing that we're doing here. You know, it'll be a little less exposition, shall we say, but it will be no less important that each scene heading give the requisite information, really use the scene heading for what it's meant for, that each stage direction or action line, as it were, highlights what's most important to see and to happen in an active way. And then, of course, we finally get to dialogue. So let's do a little dialogue here for a second. So Higgins, an old 45 middle management, middle everything, enters with a cautious knock on the open door. Rebecca stays focused on the painting. I get the picture. He's come in, Nebushi guy is who I'm casting, and you know, looking at this painting, and Rebecca says, I gave this to Rupert on our fifth anniversary. Higgins. You have exquisite taste, ma'am. Rebecca takes it off the wall. Do you want it? Higgins. But but but it's a hockney. It's worth 300,000 pounds, Rebecca. Good point. You should have said yes. Hands it to the mover. Auction pile, please. Wow. What a great exchange between these two characters. Now remember, early on it said she kind of looks better and hides the blue-collar background. The fact that she doesn't know it's a hockney, is paying that off. I hate to say it. You know, professional jealousy, that's good writing, you know? Okay, now let's look at something, the bugaboo for all writers, and that's exposition. The first way you deal with exposition, which is basically telling people what this, you know, what they need to know to understand what's going on, or what they need to know that'll hook them into wanting to know what's going to happen next, requires exposition. And there is good exposition, there's bad exposition, there's bald exposition, clunky exposition. And there's lots of ways to know if you're doing good exposition or bad exposition. I'm going to quote from my friend Ellen Sandler, who I recommend the TV Writer's Workbook to all of the people who listen to your podcast by Ellen Sandler. She's wonderful. And pretty much everything I say and more is going to be in this book. So you can go back and look at it. So all the work she says that you did in your treatment and outline, you are now ready. First, you got to pick the format, we discussed that, and then you got to deal with the exposition truck, as she calls it. And that is usually your first scene. And it's the information that your audience needs to know in order to understand why things are happening. And it takes you right to that inciting incident. That is the really kicks off your story. What you're doing is you know, you can have an inciting incident five pages in, ten pages in, but all of the work that's being done here is to set up that inciting incident. For example, in uh one of my favorite movies, North by Northwest, Cary Grant is an ad executive, I think. He's debonaire, charming, a bachelor. He's got a mother who's a cerbic and uh you know teases him constantly. And you have to establish who he is before he is mistaken for being a spy and being mistaken for the man who kills a man in a hotel lobby. And the real inciting incident is when that happens. So what you want to be doing is starting your story as soon as possible, not necessarily the inciting incident right away. Now it can be very early on, don't get me wrong. And certainly here it's going to come up pretty quick. So sometimes you need to know who your characters are before you change their life. Because what an inciting incident is, and what a script really is, uh, is what makes this day different than any other. So in the movie North by Northwest, it was charming ad executive mistaken for a spy and the murderer of a man in a lobby, and is now chased by the police. Now, in this one, this is what I mean by the heavy work of exposition on the first page. She's staring at this painting, right? Lost in thought, looking beyond it. Higgins comes in. Rebecca, without looking away, I gave this to Rupert on our fifth anniversary. That's an important piece of exposition. But it doesn't sound like exposition because it carries this faraway look, this something more is going on than saying that. But in the context of that one line, we know that Rupert was her husband, and they had been married for at least five years, right? I gave this to Rupert on our fifth anniversary. Higgins, you have exquisite taste, ma'am. She takes it off the wall. Do you want it? What a great joke. We know, not dead, maybe dead, I can't, I'm not sure, but no love lost, right? So I'm I'm being drawn, I'm being drawn in to it. And this is all exposition that we're doing. But it's being done with the visuals, it's being done with attitude from the actress uh or the character, and it's being done with a joke. These are great ways to not make exposition feel like exposition. You know? Because what's bad exposition? You know, Rupert and I were married for five years. And on our fifth anniversary, we gave, I gave him this painting. And now I don't, I mean, that's just boring as hell. So that's bad exposition. This is good exposition done in the action lines and in the dialogue. Higgins, but it's a hockney. It's worth 300,000 pounds. Good point. You should have said yes. Good joke. Now, then it has an what's called a parenthetical after that line. She's got the painting. Remember, she took it off the wall, okay, and should have said yes, and then hands it to the movers, which we set up at the beginning in capital letters, bringing stuff in and out. Right? Good point, hands it to a mover, auction pile, please. We know she doesn't give a shit about having that. She wants the money.

SPEAKER_00 56:22

Right.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

Right? As Rebecca moves to sit, Higgins glances down at three British tabloids, capital letters. Why? Because we need the prop guy to show up with three British tabloids. And the prop guy has to put covers on them so that we can shoot them and have them play. Uh, each has a picture of Rebecca and her ex-husband. Ah, now we know, and we're going to learn, ex-husband. The club's previous owner, Rupert Manion. Uh, and then there's a quote in the stage direction or the action line, which says, he gets the bimbos, she gets the bozos, end quote. Rebecca looks up at Higgins, then puts the magazines in a drawer. So that four or five-page line does a lot of work.

SPEAKER_00 57:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 57:18

A lot of exposition for us. And it's funny. Right? Higgins goes on, Mrs. Mannion, excuse me, Miss Welton, George is here. The manager, Rebecca. Yes, I know who George is, Higgins. Please bring him in. Okay, so she's not so savvy about the football team, right? That's what those two lines are. And by the way, about 45 minutes into doing this, we've reviewed the title page and the first page. Again, the reason to spend so much time here is this is what you do when writing scene headings, when writing stage directions or action lines, and then writing dialogue. And you're right into a story where I want to know what's happening on page two. So I turn to page two. Higgins leans out the door and sees in Capital Letters George Cartrick, late 50s old school manager in Capital Letters, flirting poorly with a secretary. So again, not a lot in there, but every person, every actor in this scene knows exactly what to do, right? So even the secretary knows that her attitude is to do some version of rolling her eyes as this guy is pantomiming flirting with her. So Higgins clears his throat. George, in capital letters, enters with a swagger. So even that line has attitude attached to it. Right? Because we're setting him up for something in this scene. George, Higgy Boy. Okay, so right away I know George. Higgy boy. George pretends to flick in capital letters to flick. That means the writers want him to do that. Same way I wanted Taj, or rather Taj's brother, to flick his ear. You know, Higgie Boy, George pretends to flick Higgins in the nuts, causing Higgins to flinch. George then moves to Rebecca, looks around. George. Now it says continued after George's name. And that's because we broke up George's Higgy Boy with action lines, where he pretends to, you know, tweak them in the nuts, and then he continues talking. This is all formatting. These are all elements of the script. These all make it easier to read. Because the whole point is that I, as a reader or you as an actor, don't get bumped. Like, wait a minute, did I miss something? Who was it's it's all part and parcel of a smooth transition. Okay. George continuing, love what you've done with the place. You do it yourself, or did you have some poof help you? Oh, this guy is such an asshole. Rebecca, R. E. Parenthetical, his styled haircut. That tells who? Hair and makeup. We better have this sort of a haircut because it's important in the scene. Right? So R. E. his styled haircut. I could ask the same of your hair, then gestures to the chair, another parenthetical, not a stage direction because it's all happening and then more dialogue is coming. I could ask the same of your hair. Gestures to the chair, please. Higgins, two Higgins as he sits, George says. Isn't this one cheeky? Now love, training starts in a few. So whatever you need to get off your impressive chest, have at it. Oh, we love this guy. Rebecca. Oh, of course. You're fired. Ooh, page one and a half. We're building to the inciting incident. We're kind of in the wave already moving towards it. She's taken over the team. That's what she got. They were the bozos, remember? Mediocre team. And now firing this guy. You're fired, George, with a condescending laugh. Another parenthetical, because that parenthetical tells him specifically that this right has to be read in a certain way. You're fired with a condescending laugh. Right. As opposed to, right? Or right. So the parenthetical does some work for you. Rebecca, we'll be out buying out the remainder of your contract. I wish you the best of luck. George, fired? What the fuck for? Rebecca, yes, you do deserve to know why of it all, don't you? Well, I suppose I could choose from any number of reasons. Your casual misogyny for one. I get to move to page two because I want to know what happens next. Your casual misogyny for one. Perhaps it's your performance as you have led this into a team into another remarkably average season. Or maybe it's because you insist on wearing those tiny shorts, even though it forces me to see one of your testicles. George shifts in his seat. And there's another one. By the way, the and was written with three A's. And there's the other one. Six more weeks of winter, I see. But if I'm being completely honest, George, you're sacked because I'm the owner now and I don't like you. Now sod off, you fat twat. Now that's all exposition, but it's delivered in action, you're fired, and with humor. And it tells me everything I need to know about this woman right away. Now George stands up, grabs a tabloid from her desk, chuckles. Higgy boy, right? What do you think is worse? Your husband cheating on you or being the last to know? George tosses the tabloid back on her desk, then exits defiantly. Higgins watches him go aghast. Rebecca, cheerful. Is there someone who could pop out and fetch me a salad? Not the least bit affected, you know, by this asshole. Higgins. I'll send her right in. And as far as new managers go, shall I prepare a list of candidates? Rebecca. Sparkle in her eyes. No, that won't be necessary. That's the end of the scene. Now, what does that drive into? No, that won't be necessary. We know she doesn't know shit. Cut to Interior Sports Center with Scott Van Pelt. Day. Okay. The Sports Center theme takes us to Sports Center with Scott Van Pelt post-commercial. Scott talks to the camera. Scott Van Pelt, surprising news today from across the pond. The Greenwich Football Club announced the hiring of their new manager, one Theodore Ted Lasso. Recently, Coach Lasso led the NAAC Division II Pittsburgh State Gorillas to their first national title in American football. We see a highlight of the Pittsburgh State's winning touchdown. Scott Van Pelp. He took the guerrillas, love the name, from perennial doormat all the way to the Promised Land in his very first season as head coach. Still, that is not how Ted Lasso initially found his way into our living rooms or our hearts. For me, Ted will always be the coach celebrating a moment of joy with his young team in a way you have to see and feel to truly understand. We see Ted, stage direction, action line, that is, in a phone video dancing with his players. The connection between Coach Lasso and his team is palpable. That's an important bit of action, right? Scott Van Pelp. Good luck with the most beautiful game, Ted. Dumerica Proud. As he continues the broadcast, the broadcast, we cut back to see his show as being watched on an iPhone. This transitions to pre-lap is what it says. SFX. Ooh, that's another element. You put music cues as an element. So you pre-lap an airplane toilet flush. Then Interior British Airways business class, the door opens, and Ted Lasso, 40, Jason Sudakis type, ha ha ha, it will be him. Exits and heads to his seat. He passes a hit British teen, Tommy, gaudy tracksuit, the one watching ESPNPN on his phone. Tommy does a double take at Ted as he passes. Ted takes his seat, picks up his book, The River of Doubt, by Candace Millard. Right then, an iPhone is shoved in front of his book, showing a paused image of Ted's smiling face. And that took us to our lead, who is the title of the series, and obviously going to be the new coach of this team. And more will be revealed as we continue the script, which I won't read the whole of to you. So in this scene, I'll just go a shade farther with it. So Tommy, who was the teen looking at the picture, has now shoved it in his face. Oi, mate, is you? Ted Lasso. I believe it is. Aw man, legend holds up his iPhone, internal, parenthetical. Can I get an Us an Ussie? Ted Lasso. Sure. As they pose, we call them selfies back home, Ted says. Tommy, it's not myself, yeah? It's us in it. Usie. I like that, Ted says. Tommy takes a picture, looks at it. Wicked. Then to Ted joyfully, you coaching football, mate? You are a legend for doing something so stupid. I mean it's mental. They're gonna fucking murder you. Ted. Oh, I've I've heard that tune before, yet here I am, still dancing. Tommy, legend. So what the fuck are you doing? Thinking you can go from American football to this? So we are on page five. This series, for me, has been set up. I get it. And I've met the lead character. And the inciting incident is that he's been hired after leading a team to victory and loving that team to now coach Socrates. That leaves me wondering what really happened to him? Why is he there? So when we look at the elements of the script, we pretty much covered what all those elements are. This would be if it was a three act structure or a two act structure, you'd hit that moment of you know, uh, of an act break, which is sort of an Uh-oh, which is a big development in your script, and you would have fade out, end of act one, then fade in on act three, and you would continue. And you would go all the way through fade out, end of act two.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:07

So we go from uh fade out act one to fade in act two, and then fade out act two to fade in act three.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:19

And then you go to fade out, end of show. Or if there's a tag, fade out, end of act three, then you would come back for the tag.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:32

Tell me what a tag is.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

A tag is something that should never be in the body of your script. Your story should be over at the end of the story. A tag can be a tease for another episode coming up if it's a serialized piece. Sometimes it's just a funny bit that you've come up with to end a B story or a C story, but your A story has to end in the body of the script. And this too is a mistake, thank you for the question that I get all the time about, you know, they I get writers who give me a tag and I'll say, that's not a tag, that's the end of your show. What do you think a tag means other than it's tagged on? And it was an element that didn't used to exist. It exists so they can put a commercial in and keep you watching. And then they go right into what they call the teaser or a cold opening of a show, which means they can keep you watching and not do a commercial until after the cold opening main title, and then come back because they've hooked you into the show already. So those elements, teasers, cold opens, and tags, I was around for when I was running Who's the Boss? And in those days, it was just main titles. You know, a show would end, you'd hear the theme music for Who's the Boss, and you go right into a commercial after that, and then you come into the show. And then the network brought me three TVs, set them all up, and said, This is what we're doing on ABC, this is what the other two networks are doing. And a show on NBC and CBS would end, and they were doing a tag at the end of that show. So they got a commercial and come back for the tag, then they would go right into the next series, the next show. Then they would do a main title, then they'd go to commercial. So while we were in commercial, they were showing content. And that would pull because people tend to change the channels when there was a commercial. And so the network was saying we're losing audience. So we want you to now do a cold open or a teaser and a tag so that we can do what they're doing. And that was how teasers, cold opens, and tags came around.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:03

Who started it first?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:05

No idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:07

All I know is we came to it last.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:11

Just curious. Okay. Are we still doing teasers now? Is that still in effect now?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

Yes, they still do teasers. Teasers are usually short. One page, two pages. When they start to get more than two or three pages, they they end up becoming a cold open. Uh so for example, on a lot of procedurals, you know, cop shows, you go right into the scene where you get the murdered person. Then they go to main titles, then they go to commercial, then they come back to the show and do the credits.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:46

And you can still do that for streaming shows?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:50

Sure. They just don't. They just the ones that don't have commercials, or if you buy the the tier that doesn't have commercials for a network or a cable show, they just take you right into the next scene. But you can always tell where the commercial was because it sort of goes to black for a minute. Also known as fade out.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:10

Most important, fade in, fade out.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:13

Yes, because if you get to fade out, end of show, in my book, you're a writer. And then you get to rewrite. And then you're really a writer. So I appreciate the patience of taking a good solid hour to go through the first few pages of a script because that's where you really see how these elements work.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:40

Now, let me ask you another question uh while we're in Elements. Um, and this this is more for dialogue that sometimes you have the three dots for the character. How important is it for the actor to really know about the three dots? And what what is the writer expecting in those three dots with the actor or the the character?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:12

Well, the three dots are called an ellipse. And if you'll give me a moment, I think what it really is, is a dangling thought. It's not quite a period, it's not quite a comma. So if somebody is saying, here's what uh you know, I want you to do this, and I want you to do this, and I want you to do this, you really want me to do dot dot dot. That's the reading I would give on you really want me to dot dot dot. But I'm curious, let's see what does my AI say about definition of ellipse, grammar. An ellipse in grammar is a series of three dots, or the omission of words from a sentence when the meaning can still be understood from the context. It's kind of a dangling thought where both the audience and the actor knows what's implied.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:17

Very good. Because I think sometimes actors see those three dots and or the ellipse, and they do not know what to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:26

It's a trailing off sort of thing, or they ignore it totally.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:32

And as a writer, uh, you know, when the actor is starting to write their script, their pilot, to be clear on what they're using it for.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:44

Yes, exactly. Exactly. You know, um, there's a wonderful book that uh I required all writers uh to read: E. B. White's The Elements of Style. And it's all about grammar. And what we have been talking about today is the grammar of the script. And the grammar of the script is that it functions like a set of plans done by an architect for everybody who's going to build a house. It is a collaborative effort. Making a movie, making a TV show, collaborative. And so everybody has to work from the same script, has to work from the same set of plans, including the editor who puts it together. They look at the script, and in a sitcom, they'll see which take I wanted them to put in first. But they may look at the take and say it's no good, so they'll go to another take. But then they can say, here's why I did this take, instead. They follow the script. For example, one of my scripts, Crime Scene Musical, which no one has seen because we haven't sold it yet. We have our Crime Scene Musical written by Michelle Wolfe and Danny Taylor. But the second page, we have a quote. And the quote is, How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. Winnie the Pooh. Now, I didn't put it, or we didn't put it, I should say, after our fade in, but I think that if I did a rewrite on it or it was in the edit room, I'd say, you know, I want that in. It would be fade in and on a card, I would write on a card the quote: How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard, winning the poo. And then I have in this script Music Up, Blue Skies by Ella Fitzgerald. And then Ella singing, you know, blue skies smiling at me, as the black lightens to a blue sky, the camera pounds pans down. Exterior modest home, a beautiful morning. Not just a morning. I wanted a beautiful morning. Haley Jordan, Capital Letters, pretty, fragile, but determined. So there's an inherent conflict you feel already in her character. Opens the door to a picture perfect day. She breathes it in, smiles, and heads down the steps. Ellis, nothing but blue skies do I see. Capital Letters, a good looking older gentleman, new character. Pruning the rose bushes calls after her. And I wrote, Dad, Haley, as she turns, you sure you're good? Haley, brave smile. No worries. I got this, Dad. And she's off. Dad calling after her. I'm proud of you, baby. She smiles as the camera pans up to blue skies and bluebirds flying overhead. Camera pans down on a new street as she comes across a chalk hopscotch board on the sidewalk. She hopscotches through it as Ella sings, bluebirds singing a song. And this continues until we reveal that she is a crime scene investigator and she is there coming back after a traumatic experience to a murder scene. So that is the value of having a script that tells everyone, including the actors, including the editors, what you want eventually. And then you get to play with the pieces.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:28

Hey actor, where are you going to be in 90 days from now? Is it going to be with that same old headshot that is not getting you anywhere? That same old story that it's everybody else's fault while you're not booking? Or even worse, depression, because nothing is happening for your career. Well, let me help you. Because in 90 days from now, you can have a whole new set of pictures that are built on your brand. You can have a list of agents that actually would fit what it is that you sell and a plan to have a more prosperous career. Listen, I cannot book you, but I can make you bookable. So if you are ready, willing, and excited to change your circumstances, come and join us at ActingSmarterCircle.com, sign up and get started. We're a weekly community that helps actors get in gear and get the career that they deserve. So we talked about the elements of a script, and earlier you were talking about the rewrites. How many rewrites should a writer write before they actually turn it over to somebody to buy?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:56

As many as it takes to make it good.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:59

What is good? Because I have encountered so many uh actors and novice writers who write one draft and now they're ready for stardom and they are knocking at our door to produce this script. And the script is not even ready for a table read.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:28

Oh goodness, no. Look, I I write a lot of drafts before I hand one in. And almost every time I open a script, I'm rewriting. I'm rewriting scripts that I wrote 10 years ago sometimes. One of the reasons it was hard for me to watch shows on TV that I wrote and produced is because I'd want to change it. How did I miss that? It could have been, should have been, but the reality is it had to get shot. I'll share a story uh that involves uh Will Smith. His son wanted to be on The Sweet Life. And when I heard that, I said, I'll write a part for him. And I did. And the day of the table read, uh, Will shows up with Jaden. I said, Hey Jaden, good to see you again. You must be Jaden's uh father. Will enjoyed that very much. And he he hung out. He hung out that whole week just to be a dad with his kid. And when he wanted to, you know, when we were having trouble getting Jayden to do something, he leans over. I could tell he was chomping at the bit. And he goes, Can I go in? I might have a way to help. I said, absolutely, you go on in there and give him a note. And he did, and the kid got it. And then the next day I saw him, and he was sitting on the steps going up to our offices reading a movie script. And I said, I got a question. Because I I knew him from the Fresh Prince days. They shot the show next to Who's the Boss on the other sound stage, and we'd always run into each other. I said, What do you like better? TV or the movies? He said, Well, I love TV. I love TV because you know, you you work on a script and you read it at the table and then you keep working on it. You work on it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and you gotta shoot it on Friday. And whether the script is good, bad, or you're just so so, you gotta you gotta shoot it. And you do. And then you get to come back next week and do it all over again. But with movies, I can work it. And we can wait until we get the scene just right before we move on. I thought to myself, well, that's because you're Will Smith, and if you say I'm not ready to move on, they won't. But his point was in TV, you had to get it done, you had to shoot it. So you had to say, give it up, this is what we got, make it as good as you could, or wow, we got gold, aren't we happy? In movies, you could work it a little more to get it right if you were a Will Smith. It's hard to let go as a professional writer. I always think I can make it better. So, what I would say to actors is be more rigorous. And one way to be more rigorous is give it to somebody to read and ask for their feedback. And the feedback you really want is did something bump you? In other words, when you were reading it, you went, wait a minute, I don't get why this is happening. Because every scene needs to be cause and effect. Something caused you to move into this scene from the previous scene. Then this thing happened and it propels you into the next scene. And the and the action and the tension and the stakes just keep rising. That's why we call it rising conflict. So when I say, Did I lose you anywhere? That's asking you as a reader or as an audience, when did it hook you and when did it lose you?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:09

I would add to that when you feel like the script is good and you want to give it to somebody, I would encourage all my actors to do a table read so you can just sit there, hear it come back to you. For me, script writing is kind of like writing jokes. When I was doing stand-up, you know, we we write the joke, we work on it, then we get it on a stage, and we hear how the audience responds to it. And I could tell in the beginning of that joke if it was gonna take off or if it was gonna crash and burn. And so then you you work on it some more, you rewrite it again, you get it back on stage. And I think what is an excellent thing for any actor slash writer, or even writers before you give it to industry people, have a have a table read. Get some people to sit, get some actors to just sit and read it so you can hear it back or tape it, so you can sit with it. Cause when you're in doing a table read, you're you're it's surreal. People are actually giving you back your lines and it it gets it, it's like you're you're freaking out almost. You need that separation from when they do the table read to when you can calm down and now take it in.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:38

It is absolutely spot on. It really is. In fact, especially for writers who are writing a role for themselves, they can be writing without thinking they're going to be in it, but if they're thinking they're gonna be in it, I think your suggestion that they tape it is even more important. And here's why. When you're a writer, you're a witness, you're an audience, you're a critic, you're the writer, you're not an actor. And when you're acting, yeah, maybe you can judge what's going on, but frankly, it's harder. It takes a lot of skill and experience to be able to do that. And and maybe you can do that as a but boy to have that tape allows you to have been in it and then review it and look at it dispassionately. Not as the writer, not as the star, but as that person sitting in the dark in a movie theater or in your living room, uh, where you have a choice of watching it all the way through or getting up and making dinner and maybe coming back.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:49

Yeah, and I think it's important for the writer to view it objectively, not from your personal, oh my God, this is terrible, oh my god, but to go what is the writer trying to convey? Take yourself out of it. Just like I always tell actors take yourself out of how you looked, how you uh you sounded, what you know, but look at is the is the character doing their job? Is the character believable? Do you know instead of, you know, we tend to be very self-criticizing instead of looking at, oh, does it work? Does that character work in this scene? Did I go too far? Did I not go far enough? And not being a critic, but being the observer. I think that's important. Does this work? How can you separate, be objective, and go, does this work?

unknown 1:28:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:57

Does this work as opposed, you know, because sometimes we'll look at stuff and we are so critical and we want to just throw it out, you know, and that's not that is not what rewrites are for is to go, what do I, what needs tweaking here? What is the story I'm trying to tell? How am I going to get to point from from the first act to the second act to the third act or the first to the second, and then complete the story in a way that leaves people satisfied, but wanting to come back to the next episode?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:32

Yes. Uh you are so on the money here. You know, one of the things uh, like when I was doing Crime Scene Musical with Michelle, we didn't do a table read, but I would always read the script and she would be listening. And the reason is she hated reading the script herself. But also, I was if I'm reading the script in all the parts, I'm not thinking about my acting. I'm still in a writer's head, I'm just hearing it out loud. So hearing it out loud, even yourself and reading it is great. And if you have someone you can do that with, because you can't put together a table read, is invaluable.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:23

But when you I I when I was teaching a class, I had one student who really wanted everybody to read her scene and play a role. And I was saying, you know, I'm not a fan of that. You're a writer in this classroom, you're not an actress. And these people are not actors, they're writers. Oh, but I think it would just make it all come to life and be so much better. So finally I said, Oh, you know what? You keep asking, I'll let's do it. I'll read the stage directions. Everybody else can play a role. You can do the role you want to do. And Michelle said, I ain't doing a role because she was sitting in on the class. And after we did the scene, I said to, as I always do to the writer, so what did you think? Well, I think it might have needed a little of this, which is exactly where she was when she started, but it really didn't get any deeper. And then I said, Well, let's ask the other people in the room. And they said, Well, when I had to read this line, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to do this or that. I said, Well, but do you have any comment about the scene as a whole? Yeah, I said, Well, no, not really. And then I said, Well, let's ask the one person who listened to this who was really being a writer. And Michelle gave her some great notes on what the scene was both working and when it wasn't working. And that finally convinced her that when you're doing this, you're doing this as a writer, not as an actor.

unknown 1:31:52

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:53

And while it sounds like it's fun to have people read your words, you better be listening to those words as a writer.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:01

Yes. And that is why it's important when I and I'm a big believer that you can find actors. There are so many actors that want to be uh reading people's scripts. They are claw, they are just chomping at the bit to be able to sit on a Zoom call and just go through somebody's script. So there are a million actors out there that you can get a hold of. And this is just for other actors as well or new writers. Go to a theater, ask if you can get some of their actors who would be willing to sit on a Zoom call and just read your script. Break down the characters on one sheet. Looking for this type, looking for this time, and let them come in, have a rehearsal so that uh, you know, they have an idea of what it is that they're reading. So it's not a co-reading, but it gives you, the writer, a good idea of what you've written, and it will give you the holes. It will give you, oh, that character isn't working well in this. I, you know, I had a vision, but this is not working, or this is a really great character, but the dialogue sucks. Because actors, what I will say is actors are always trying to make that dialogue work. They are always trying to finagle that dialogue. So if it's not working, you will know it because the actor is gonna work their butt off to try to make it something. And sometimes, you know, as a writer, and I say that for my uh my limited experience of writing, having had table reads and just listening to people uh giving me back the lines, I go, I didn't even think of that for that actor. Some act, I mean, for that character, some actor brought in something that heightened the character. I was like, oh my God, that is so let me let me go back and in the rewrite, add more dimensions to it that this actor just naturally brought to it. So I just wanted to share that because yes, so many people write and they don't do the rewrites. You know, it's not, it's not two rewrites, it's not three rewrites. Sometimes it's 20 rewrites. It there is no number to it, but it's got to, you gotta flush out all those uh impediments in your writing. You gotta flush all of that out that's not working.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:36

Going back to the question you asked about rewrites, on average, I would do seven to ten drafts. And sometimes those drafts were changing a scene here and a scene there, but seven to ten drafts before I called it first draft. Because let's talk money. Ooh, I saw those headphones pop up again. You're paid for X number of drafts. First draft, second draft, sometimes a third draft, and sometimes then a polish. And there are before you get to the final draft. Now, whether you actually do a third draft or they just say, okay, that's all, they they still have to pay you the full amount. But contractually, they break it up into those payments. But how many drafts do you do on your computer before you hand it in? As many as it takes before the deadline comes. I love deadlines. Two things I love. I love a deadline and I love getting paid at the end of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:41

I think it's important also that when they turn it into a studio, a streaming service, their agent, it should always be first. They it should always be written on that title page, first draft. Not that it is a first draft, but that should be there's an argument for when you hand it in to the agent, you don't put any draft.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:06

Oh, okay. You just hand it in. So when you hand it in to a studio or a network that's paying you after they've made a contract, then you want it because it triggers a payment.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:19

Got you. I love that. That that is such great information.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:23

Yep, that's that's the business. We don't call it show friendship.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:28

Yes. Hey, amen to that. So when we first started, you were talking about Bibles. Now we we've done the elements, but I want if you can go in a little bit about the Bible for the show that you're writing of a Pilot for. Why is the Bible necessary and what is the purpose of the Bible?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:54

In my day for the uh sitcoms and single camera shows I did, we didn't do Bibles. What they would ask me to do is say, Can you give me ten episode ideas for the show? Because it was episodic. And I'd pitch them ten story ideas. You know, sometimes seven. Sometimes they only needed six. Mostly they started with, Well, what's episode two? But basically they wanted to know, did the show have legs? Could I generate out of this premise enough stories to fill what was then potentially a twenty-two episode order? Now along comes serialized television, where you need an overarching story for the first season, the second season, the third season. And they want to know, well, what's gonna happen in the first season? Give me a beginning, middle, and end. And that's where you get into the Bible writing when they want those sort of things. But sometimes they even want it for episodic, where each episode is self-contained, you don't have to have seen even the pilot to know what's going on in the sixth episode, it stands on its own. Because every episode should be the DNA of your show and should be contained and obvious to any audience. But when you need to go back and say last week on this show, you know, that's because it's either a a two-parter or because you're doing a serialized theories. And so networks want to know, not does it have ten episodes at least, because if you can come up with ten, you can come up with twenty. If you can come up with twenty, you can come up with a hundred. Because you've said plenty of stories here. The Bible today is a way to say uh for a serialized show, what are the stories going to be in the first episode? Where does it begin? Where does it end? Uh for the first season, second season, third season. Because you'll notice most of the streaming shows they go at least three seasons. And what's the maximum number of episodes? Usually it's ten. Unless it's a legacy TV show like High Potential, which I'm really enjoying with uh my wife. Uh and it's episodic, but they do have an overarching mystery. It just doesn't play out every episode. And uh Crime Scene Musical, which I started to read you the stage direction's first two pages of, then the show and I had, it had an overarching mystery as well. But it was going to be episodic. So Bibles grew out of a need for serialized shows to promise that they could do what really amounted to 30 episodes when you think about it. If you're only doing 10 and you're only getting three seasons, my goodness, I the typical legacy TV show that was a hit, we did 100 episodes.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:11

When a show hit 100 episodes, that was huge. I remember that for the Jeffersons, because I remember going to they had a party, we did a hundred episodes.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:25

Back in those days, a hundred episodes gave you syndication money, so a little more show business. When they made a Jefferson episode, let's say it cost them $500,000 or a million dollars in those days to do an episode. And there was a license fee paid by the network. And those license fees, as time went on, barely covered the cost of an episode. So the studio would deficit finance that episode. So if you got, let's say, 500 grand from the network as a license fee, so they could run it and get so many runs out of it, the studio would come up with the other 500,000. So on the books, they were carrying a $500,000 deficit on every one of those in the red episodes until they reached that magic hundred. It also eventually became 80 episodes, it was enough. But 100 was the magic number way back then. That $500 in the red went from being a $500,000 liability to a million and a half dollar asset because each one of those episodes sold into syndication for a million and a half dollars. And what they did in syndication was they could take a hundred episodes over a three-month period, which is one quarter of a yeah, strip it, meaning five days a week, and at the end of the uh three months they would have run through the hundred and gotten all those advertising dollars for it. That was the business model. Today the business model kind of screwed up because advertising isn't powering it, and syndication has disappeared. Well, some of it has most of it has disappeared in terms of the big payoffs, but not entirely. And um everything's streamable once it's put on streaming, but different world, business-wise.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:43

Very good, very good. Okay, so there were two books you shared for us to make sure we get. The first one is TV Writers Workbook by Ellen Sandler, and then the second one is The Elements of Style by E. B. White.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:03

That one is more of a general grammar.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:06

Right. But you should have that to help you with the writing.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:12

It doesn't hurt. You know, today the reason I'm I'm I'm um being coy about it is there's so much slang out there now, and so much change in what is grammatically correct. But boy, I'm a I am a stickler myself for the proper use of a comma or a semicolon or an ellipse, as you were asking about. And it really does serve your purpose as a writer and as a performer, especially, uh, if you know what that means. And it affects how you read something, uh, how you perform it. So, yeah, it's a good book to have. It's a tiny book, so you don't have to you can refer to it as a reference book.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:51

Is there anything else other than those two books that you know whoever's watching this might want to help them?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:00

Yeah, it's called Inside the Writer's Room. It was put together by the UCLA Extension Program, and it has wonderful essays by real professional writers, not unlike what I just did here. And it covers everything from screenplays to hour length to half hour. It's a good reference book.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:22

Beautiful. As usually, you have exceeded my expectation. I have been looking forward to this master class. Um I I think to be able to get the information from not only from a working writer, working showrunner, but somebody who has made their living in this business for decades. I am uh just so blessed to have been able to get this information from you and share it with our viewers, because I know this is going to help them start their journey. For those actors who are frustrated and feel like, you know what, I'm not sitting around and waiting anymore. I'm gonna create my own project. And here is a template that they can start to use. This one, along with the other masterclass that you gave us on writing your own pilot. I think these two are phenomenal episodes for them to watch to help them on their writing journey. I know, having been in the business for so long, quite a few actors that I know got frustrated and started writing their own stuff and now are showrunners. They really were able to transition, as you were talking about, the gentleman who wrote Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I have at least six friends who were like, you know what, I love acting, but I need to do something else, and I need to use my creativity in another way. And they were able to make that transition, get into writing programs, whatever they did, they're now legit writers in the writer's guild. And, you know, it's a good feeling to be able to take your craft and expand on it, as opposed to shut it down because you didn't get it one way, that there are many ways to be an artist in this business.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:25

So one day I'm hoping to be an actor.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:28

There you go. Well, we can move on.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:30

By the way, in the spirit of always rewriting, there is one other book. It was given to me by my uncle, who is a wonderful producer in the golden age of TV. And it's the first book I read. And it was it's called The Art of Dramatic Writing.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:45

Oh my god, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:47

You know the book by Laho Sedri. And it applies across the board. And by board, I mean whether you're writing drama, whether you're writing comedy, whether you're writing a screenplay, a play, or a half-hour show.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:03

Every actor should have that book as well. I got that book early on in my career, and it really made a difference in helping me understand different genres, to break down characters. I want to say maybe the first, second chapter, they go through how to give the character life for the writer. And I've used that for my acting. Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:38

It's an oldie but goodie.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:40

Yes, yes. And you know, oldie's but goodies are awesome because they take us back to foundation. And too many times um people see how something, well, they see the finished product and they just think they could do it. They don't realize, hey, I need foundation first. You know, it's like wanting to be an actor. Just because you memorize lines, that does not make you an actor. You need foundation, you need technique to help you when you have to do a scene a hundred times over and over and over again. Your your memorization is not going to help you do it over and over again. That's where technique comes in. So thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:26

Oh, you bet. All I can say is let's do this again.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:30

And we will, because I have even more stuff to ask you after this. So thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:35

You bet.