SPEAKER_01 0:57

No man, when I'm on stage and I'm and I'm talking about as Lenny and I'm talking about Lenny's mom, thinking about my mom. You know what I mean? Like I'm not faking it. I'm not like I'm he it's healing me because I'm discussing, I may be using that material, but I'm bringing my truth through it.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Welcome to Acting Smarter Now. I'm Lydia Nicole, actress, producer, and your acting career coach, here to help you cut through the noise, own your craft, and take your career from undiscovered to unstoppable. I have a question for you. What does an actor who wears many hats look like? Well, he looks like Ronnie Marmot. Actor, writer, director, teacher, solo performer, and artistic director of Theater 68. And he is going to share with us how he does it all. So without further ado, let's go to the interview. You have built your career not waiting for permission from anybody. You've done, you've created your own theater, Theater 68. You've done your own shows, you got an incredible one-man show. You've done a bazillion episodes of episodics and film for that actor who is feeling invisible, that's watching or listening to this right now. What is one bold move that you can share that you did when you first got the industry to notice you?

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Oh well, you know, I realized early on that you know the industry was probably not gonna choose me in a real way. In other words, there's people from here to, you know, across the country who want to do this. So I realized that in order to make my way in this business, I was gonna have to bring them to me as opposed to try to get them to notice me going to them. And so I realized a long time ago I had to step out of line and just create my own stuff. And uh that doesn't mean I didn't want to go on auditions and do the other things. But pretty much when I started acting, I realized pretty quickly that in order to make some magic, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to create that. And I'm gonna have to bring them to me, and I'm gonna have to not allow self-talk and doubt to take over my life. Because, you know, a lot of us go through that. You know what I mean? A lot of especially artists. You know, it's funny, Lydia. I always say that I have a committee of people in my brain negotiating on my life all day long. Some people think I'm a complete hack and I have no business acting. Other people I'm on the committee think I'm smart and talented. So they're fighting all day. So I just can't give over to those things. You understand? I have to just simply say, you know what? Shut up, stand over there on the other side of the of my brain. I'm doing the thing and I'm gonna try my best.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

So I love that. Something I heard you say, which I think is just absolutely brilliant, which is you have lots of self-doubt plus perseverance. I think that is the key, is that you don't let the negativity keep you from what it is that you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

No, amen. I mean, it's not easy some days, but you know, I don't have bad days anymore. I have, you know, maybe a bad half hour or an hour, but I can't give up a day. It's going too fast, you know? And so, yeah, I definitely have a lot of self-doubt, but I think that's where the magic is. Like I always tell artists and actors, like, if you could create from that broken place, that's what people are interested in seeing. You know, anything I come up with in my mind, you know, between my ears is usually not that interesting. But if I'm able to create from that place of fear and imposter syndrome and all that crazy stuff we we suffer with, then you know, I I have a saying and when I direct often uh theater, I'll say to actors, just to be clear, the audience is not coming to see you. They're coming to see themselves in you. And if you can't give over yourself to a performance where they can see themselves somewhere in that performance, even if it's not conscious for them, it just somehow lives within them. And they, you know, whether they get moved or even a good laugh, whatever it is, they have to see themselves in your performance in order for to be a success. So I think the only way to accomplish that is to create that from that insecure, vulnerable place. And then that's what people are attracted to.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

What I'm impressed with about you is the fact that you not only are an actor, but you're an artistic director of not one but two theaters, East Coast and West Coast. You're like, I'm not leaving anything on the table. I love that. And not only that, but you have taken upon yourself to write your own stuff, to do your own projects, which you know, I come from the Robert Townsend school. We are about doing our own stuff, we're not waiting for anybody to do for us. And you have an incredible show called I'm Not a Comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce. Something I heard you say, which was that when you do that show, you get out of your way.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Those are those are the special nights when I'm able to do that. Because, you know, there's nothing worse, and as a performer, you understand this, there's nothing worse than when you're on stage and you and you're suddenly like also on the side of the stage watching your performance. That's never a good place to be. So for me, the nights I'm willing to get out of my way and just like not to sound too hokey, but be a vessel to this story, that's when it feels like it goes by in five minutes and it's and it's magic, you know? And it's the nights that I'm like watching every step I'm taking or or critiquing my performance in the middle of it, those are not the good nights. Those are the nights I'm like, would you stop? You know, I'm yelling at myself on stage, you know. And uh so, yes, if I could get out of my own way, then that's what that's where the magic is to me.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

So I want to park here in the one-man show stuff, because uh as someone who has done several one-person shows, I know what a beast it is. It's not like doing a play, it is its own kind of specialness. And when I heard you say getting out of your way, to me that that really resonated because when you're doing that kind of show and you're putting everything, you you have nobody to help you. There is nobody, you can't take a pause. You gotta keep it going. You have to surrender. It requires you to surrender and just allow it to go through you. And I don't think it's hokey to say it is flowing through you, because I I have a one-person show calling called A Rose Grows in Spanish Harlem, and it's about my childhood and all the characters, and I do about 30 characters. And part of it is every night not knowing who's gonna outdo the other character. You doing a one-man show on someone who was living, who a lot of us still know. You know, if you're a certain age, you know who Lenny Bruce was. And for those of you who don't know who Lenny Bruce was, he made the way for there to be a richer prior, for there to be people today who say whatever they want and have freedom of the press in a certain way and be able to just say what they what they're thinking without there being censorship. You are doing a person that was alive. First of all, what made you decide, you know what, I want to write something on Lenny Bruce?

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Well, first of all, those are all great points. And you mentioned Robert Townsend, and I just have to say that man is amazing. Like, I have so much love and respect for him as a performer and as a person. So I love that guy. So thank you for mentioning Robert Townsend. Anyway, he saw me do Lenny and he came by himself, and we weren't friends at that time in New York, and he came and stayed after and was like, wow, that's the real deal. So it was it was really nice to connect with him on that level. But in terms of what you're saying, you know what what happened with this and how Lenny Bruce came to me was about 20 years ago, somebody came to me, Charlie Brill. He's a great comic, old school Charlie Brill and Mitzi McCall. Very old school comics. Charlie's in his 80s, Mitzi just passed, and they're very dear to me. And Charlie said, Hey, I have lunch with him and Jack Burns and all these great comics. He said, Hey, why do you know who Lenny Bruce was? And I said, Well, I'm a little young, I know his name, but uh I grew up on Carlin and Pryor and those guys. And he's like, Well, you remind me of Lenny, and there's a play that somebody gave me called Lenny's Back and Boy Is He Pissed. And it's a funny title. And he's like, Why don't you play Lenny and I'll and I'll direct it? And I said, Listen, Charlie, I can't play Lenny Bruce. I mean, this guy at this point would have been 80 years old, so that means all his friends are alive in Los Angeles. What if, what if it's terrible? What if I suck? I don't do impressions. I'm not an impressionist. So I'm like, I don't know. He's like, just do it. So anyway, it took him two years to talk me into it. And then finally we had this little bet. And I said, if you do this thing for me, I'm gonna do that. And he goes, Okay. So he did it. And long story short, I started to research Lenny and I fell in love. And I was like, oh, I got it. I get it. And I didn't know how to do an imitation, so I would just like listen to everything I could. I read everything I could, and then I just got up and started walking around. And and I don't speak like Lenny Bruce. You know, he's an he's an old hipster man from the 60s, baby. You know, it's just very different than me. And so I was like, can I do this without sounding like I'm putting on a show? I can I be authentic. And so we did the show, and boy, I was blown away. I mean, all his friends came and they would sit in the front row and they would cry, Lenny, I miss you, and kiss me all over my face. And and I was like, oh, wait, I think I'm on to something here. I got it, I think. So I fell in love with Lenny. I understood his mission, I understood how important he was just a short time ago in this country, and how we're still fighting a lot of the same battles. Well, I did the show for six months, it was a big hit, put it away. Five years later, I did it again because I wanted to revisit the material. And then one day I woke up and realized that I wasn't doing Lenny's material. I thought it was a very safe version of Lenny Bruce once I dug really deep. And so I set off to get the rights to his uh autobiography, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People. And Kitty Bruce, his incredible daughter, who's basically a sister to me. Kitty uh gave me the rights to the book, and I wrote my play. And uh and I wrote the show that I'm touring now, and I've been running for I guess about eight years and on tour for five, right after the pandemic, basically. What a ride, you know. I I realized sadly we're fighting a lot of the same. So, so did I think, like, boy, let me what can I come up with for myself? It wasn't like that. It kind of just all fell into place. Because uh the imposter syndrome, the doubt would say, you're not qualified. What are you doing? And and show business, Hollywood probably wouldn't give this Italian-American actor to play this old school hipster Jewish guy an opportunity. So I had so so it was interesting throughout my career to bring people, casting people or agents or directors who see my work now and had an idea of me before, and they come and they go, Oh, you're an actor. And I go, Yeah, no, I've been an actor the whole time. I just haven't had the material to take me to that other place. You know, a lot of times as actors, we are bound by the material or the limits of the material that we have. I don't know how great of an actor I can be by saying, Hey, Vinny, put them in the trunk. I mean, how good can I be, right? Hey, hey, hey, Sarge, phone call. I mean, you know, but when you write something like I can't wait, I'd love to see your show, by the way. That sounds really great. But if you write something like that and you go, okay, it's like exploring and you know, pushing the boundaries of what you thought you were capable of.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

So let me ask you, because not only are you an actor, not only are you an artistic director, but you and a director, but you're also an acting teacher. So as you were going into doing your one man show of Lenny Bruce, what did you bring as the teacher to inform you, the actor?

SPEAKER_01 13:18

I've never been asked that question. So here's my relationship with teaching, and maybe this will help. I never thought I was qualified. I for years, because what I saw in LA or New York, I'm sure, you know, somebody gets a decent credit where they're known for a thing, even a great guest star. Suddenly they start a class and they have 12 bananas taking their class, right? Ronnie Marble, he was on General Hospital. Let's take his class, right? And that doesn't make me a teacher, it just means I'm a guy who got a break with an audition or an opportunity. So I always had this struggle with teaching. I was like, well, I'm a director. I don't know if I'm a teacher. I mean, I'm a director. And then the pandemic happened, and my theater group came to me and said, Hey, Ronnie, I know you've been saying that for a decade that you're not sure, but would you teach a class on Zoom for uh for a fundraiser for the group, since we can't go back to the theater right now? And so I said, Okay, okay, I'll do it. And I am I allowed to curse on this show? You can say whatever you want. Well, what's the name of the class? I go, I don't know, let's call it stop fucking acting. That's the name of the class. And the tagline is nobody wants to watch you act. Nobody wants to watch acting. So I put it out there in the world, and I'm like, all right, let's see if anybody cares or wants to do it. And that was six years ago, and um I completely fell in love with it, and uh, I'm still doing it now, and and I do have a lot to offer. And and I have an interesting perspective. It's not like if you pick up a scene, you do this, you do this, you do this, you're a better actor. The way I approach it as a teacher is just more about like I have tools and ideas to help you in certain situations. Go, if you're in this situation, try this. That didn't work, try this. So I have some ideas and theories, but I don't subscribe to one brand of acting myself. So, okay, so now I'm doing Lenny. I'm doing Lenny for a couple of years before I started teaching. And I really tried, if I'm being honest, I tried to leave myself out of after I wrote the piece, and Joe Montaigne, my director, who's you know, it's Joe Montaigne. So I asked Joe to direct because I thought if Joe directs, I'll have a lot of respect for him and I'll take everything seriously. And I really trusted the script once we said, okay, we got it. And once I trusted that the script was good, because I have a saying, if it's not on the page, it's not on the stage. Playwrights don't get enough credit. You know, people think, ah, the words, I'll say what I want. If you don't have a good script, it's uh some of that material is tough to do. So we had it. We go, okay, we got the script, we got it. So then I gave myself over to Joe and I say, Joe, uh, you know, direct this play. And and so I tried to stay out of the results business and just kind of moved around. And and and Joe uh he he he he guided me with a gentle hand. And so today, as a teacher, because all my students have seen the show, and I have students all over the country because it's on Zoom, you know, people in class all over, and they've all seen it. And so the best advice I give them now about that is like go create something. In fact, funny enough, today we have class, and this is an acting class, and their homework class last week was to write a monologue in an acting class. I said, I want you all to write a monologue. Here's the structure, two minutes. I need this to happen by this, I need by this paragraph, I need this, and I sent them away, and today they're gonna come read them to me to see what they got. Because I want people creating and thinking and and exploring. So the thing with me is like as a teacher, you kind of get it's kind of a mixed bag. It's like, yes, we focus on acting and performance, but how I got to where I am in my career was a lot of it was creating. And so I want to make sure they, you know, uh have confidence in making magic for themselves. And so I know that's a long-winded answer.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

I was kind of exploring through it, but I think what you're saying is very valid, especially today when we are being told to do our own self-tapes, create our own ambiance to present to uh the producers. So we have to create. It's no, you know, when you started, when I started, you just had your sides, and you did your sides, and they shot you, and then you came in, you met with the producers, they either liked you or they didn't, and that was it. But now they want you to do many movies as stuff. And I think where we are today, the actor must create their their own stuff. So I love I love what you're bringing into the acting class. Um, I just think, you know, I'm a big believer in don't wait. I mean, I came, I came to New to Los Angeles from New York as an actor, Latina, black. There was no no parts out there. I I remember badgering Jack Nicholson's agent to sign me. I was like, look, I just you you're the guy. Sign me. He says, I love you, I love your energy, but there's no work for you. So I went and created my own. You have to create your own. You don't, I wasn't sitting there waiting. So I love your take on it, not just from the class, but from who you are as the acting teacher and the director. How do you separate directing from teaching? Because there are people out there that are having acting classes, but they're not acting teachers. They're really directors.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

I think what happened was is when I started the class, it was because of a fundraiser and I had all that self-doubt talk in my brain. You're just a director, you're not a teacher. And then what I found was I would come to class and I'd say, well, why don't you try this or do that? And then it would work, and then they would grow, and I'd go, oh, wait a minute. I am a teacher. This is crazy. So all I'm doing is I'm teaching, I do, I do approach it a little bit as a director, but I think it's less and less and more of a teacher now because I have found my voice as a teacher, as opposed to like, because you know, listen, when I got to LA, literally in 1999, I came to Los Angeles and I opened up backstage and it said acting class,$300, whatever it was, right? And I was like, okay, so if I take this class, I'm gonna be a better actor. I'm gonna take the class. And it was a nightmare. And not that some classes aren't amazing. This was not amazing. I had a really hard time in this class. And I regressed as an actor. Because it because I do believe that not every teacher is supposed to be your teacher. I think there's a language, there's a there's a thing we got to be able to do together. And it's like, do you hear, do we do we understand uh ourselves between the words? You know, do we understand each other student to teacher between the words? Like, and so I tell people all the time, like, come check out my class if it's for you, awesome. But honestly, I might not be your teacher. That's okay with me because I had that experience twice in LA and it wasn't great at all. So nowadays, I feel like I take the pressure off of teaching. What I do is is I celebrate people and try to find out what their magic is. I don't go, if you don't do it this way, then you're out. It's not like you know, not everybody hears things the same way, you know. And so I try to like cater my teaching around an individual. Because you can't talk to every actor the same way. You just can't. And so, and so we quickly find out if we're if we're connected between the words, and we and and and if I see you growing, that means you are hearing and listening. I'm so proud of my class, it's awesome. I mean, you have no idea. It's like I feel like they're like my kids and they're older than me, a lot of them, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

What you're saying is a fantastic teacher. And I say that because I've studied with the best. I studied with Stella Adler, I've studied with Ivana Chubik, I've studied, I've studied nine years with Roy London. And as you're talking to me, I don't know if you know who Roy London was, but Roy was the teacher. Not you couldn't, he didn't take any ads out. You could only get to him if you knew somebody who knew somebody. But he taught exactly what you're saying. It wasn't about cookie cutters. He wasn't trying to make everybody the same. He was pulling from what you had, what was the best Ronnie that we could bring. And I and to me, that is an exceptional teacher that they have the insight, the instinct, and the common sense to say, oh my God, I see you this way. Let's see if we could pull that out, not to try to make you the same as other people. So to so as I'm listening to you, and I don't know you, but as I'm listening to you, I'm like, you've taken everything you've learned on different sets, and because you have an incredible resume. I mean, we haven't talked about that, but you have a really incredible resume from episodics to to soap operas to film and stage that you've experienced it, you know, so that you can look at the actors differently from somebody who just maybe took had a couple of under fives and decided, I know everything. Hey, let me tell you how to cry. Ronnie, I'm going to tell you how to cry and you're going to be brilliant. So I just wanted to throw that in because I really appreciate your vulnerability and your honesty, but I think what makes a great teacher is someone who understands the craft. It doesn't matter. And the fact that your life experience is so rich, you know, because you can be uh really knowledgeable headwise, but you haven't experienced life.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Well, it's not attractive. You know, when I was a teenager, I remember, and uh, and I'm very public about this, but I was I was in rehab as a kid. I had a tough childhood growing up. And I remember what you're saying is exactly right. And here's kind of an analogy. I remember sitting in rehab one day, and I'm 16 years old, and it's me and 25 other boys, and this is like our last chance before they throw us away in some, you know, some kid's home for a couple of years. You know, I was doing stupid things. And this guy walks in, his name is Frank. I'll never forget Frank Geller, and he's like, so children, you are an addict and an alcoholic. And I was like, this guy's a puttz. He has no idea what he's talking about. This other counselor walks in, he just did 11 years for bank robbery. He got out of prison, he's been clean 11 years, tattoos all over his body. He's like, Will you listen to me? Here's where it's headed. And then you and then you're hanging on every word because he had the experience. You go, I love this man. He saved my life. And not that like it's okay, you don't have to struggle to be successful, but there is something about authenticity when you meet somebody, you go, they've been there. I want to, I want, I want to just hear what because that's how I see it as a as a teacher. It's more about sharing information as opposed to here's how it goes down. You know, I I don't know why I do this white guy voice like this, but it's my corporate voice, Ronnie. Uh yeah. So it's really silly, but uh but you get it. So it's there's something about like that's how I feel about Joe Montaigne. I mean, the guy is, you know, he's my mentor, and I look up to him so much because he's so authentic. It just is. And it's just like there's not a false note, you know, and I don't want to be around people like that. I just want to be around people just nice and easy and honest, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

So I want to share with the audience uh a little bit about your background because you you were born in Brooklyn, but then you were raised in New Jersey. Your father left your mother at a young age, and your mother had to take on three jobs and do whatever to take care of you and your older brother. At a young age, you were left to fend for yourself because your mom had a lot uh, you know, she had to be mom and dad in that situation. And you got into the wrong groups.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Because I think your story is so important to uh to people out there who maybe they're starting their acting career or they want to be actors, but they think, oh my my life has been so difficult. I can't do this. So can you share your background uh a little bit more of your background and how you got into rehab at 16?

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Well, and that wasn't my first time at 16. I had been there a couple of times. But so, Lydia, first of all, thank you for saying all that, and then thank you for doing this homework because it means a lot to me. You know, it makes me sometimes you do interviews and you're like, it's just, you know, it's cookie cutter, like you said. So I'm so grateful that you took the time to find that out. So thank you. In terms of like my life, you know, when people say, Oh, I've had a hard life, I don't know if I could be an actor. No, that's why you should be an actor. We need that. That's where the magic is. Listen, my dad left when I was 11. My mother was this funny little crazy Italian woman who uh went from being, you know, a housewife to working three jobs because she was too proud to go on any government assistance. And she's like, I'm gonna teach my boys, me and my older brother, that you don't take from anybody, you go do and you and you provide for your family. And it wasn't until about, I don't know, seven years ago that after spending a couple of years uh in therapy, because I'm a big believer in like, you know, keep evolving and growing and figuring out what's happening. I think it makes you a better actor if you could figure out what's up, you know. So I spent some time in therapy, and what I realized that I'll never forget the therapist who say she's amazing. But she said, you know, your mother abandoned you. And I got mad, you know, don't talk about my mother. Are you crazy talking about my mother? She's the best woman you ever met. Like I was like, Oh, I got mad. I was 20 words up to you ever speak about my mother. And then I went home that night and I was laying in bed and I went, she did. But she didn't know, like she didn't know she did. She was just doing the best she could. You know, they were not informed. That last generation and uh a lot of this generation, but but we've got a lot more information now. And and and I believe in her way, in her blue-collar, strong, independent way, she was trying to teach us to not depend on anybody and you know, do your thing. So anyway, quickly I went from ultra supervision to no supervision overnight. And all of a sudden, I'm 11, 12 years old hanging on a street corner with kids who were 16 years old. And and I was the young kid, and they'd say, Yeah, we need a pack of cigarettes. Ronnie, go steal the cigarettes from Krausers. They'll do it, and then we'll let you give you a joint or something if you do it, you know. And so this is what I did. I would want to impress these older kids. And so I'd go do whatever they want. And then I would go back to the 12-year-olds and I'd be like, So listen to this, I got this thing, whatever, right? And they'd go, Oh my god, you're brilliant. How'd you get that? So, in other words, I was the leader of that group because I was getting all the information from the 16-year-olds. My mother once told me, I think she was kidding, but I took it seriously. She said, Find the three dumbest guys in your class and hang out with them, you'll be the leader. So I did that. Yeah, no, I know. This is my mom. That's how funny she was. She's like, Find the dumb kids, you'll hang out with them, you'll be the leader. I said, Thanks, thanks. But you know, it wasn't long. I was so sad and so insecure, and I missed my dad, and I missed my mom. And, you know, I quickly I had friends in my life who were good kids, but they were struggling too. And so, you know, we turn to drugs, you turn to stealing, you turn to this and that. And it was it was pretty wild, you know, to uh to have that experience. And and and and you know, the difference between, you know, I had a bunch of friends growing up, and most of them, two of them OD'd, one got murdered, and one's been in prison for like 30 years. And the only difference about me is that I just ran a little fast. I got lucky. I got lucky. And so, anyway, I ended up in rehab. I'll I don't want to skip that. So I ended up in rehab a few times, and then eventually, I I'll never forget this day. I went in front of this judge, and I was uh 16 years old, and I was and I was about to be tried for an adult as an adult. I had 11 accounts of uh harassment, uh threats. I had a it was it was crazy. They raided my house, they found all these drugs, my poor mom, they ripped up her uh her her couches with a with a knife to look in her couches, they pulled down the ceiling and they made me watch all this, and my poor mom was crying. You know, I was so anyway, long story short, I end up going into to it to the courtroom. And and this one day, I I knew that last time I was there, this judge, Judge Lerner, said, if you come back here again, kid, I'm throwing you away. That's it, four years. And so I knew I was in trouble. So I said goodbye to all my friends that weekend before court, and I said, I'll see you guys in a couple of years. And so I went in front of the judge that morning, me, my mother, this lawyer. And I'll never forget this young, beautiful woman walks out who's a judge. She's like, 35 years old, 40 years old, I don't know. She walks out, and I'm 16 years old, and I'm like, Where's Judge Larner? And she goes, he's out sick. The lawyer says, Oh, he's out sick today. So I'm like, so she starts going through my paperwork, and she goes, Oh, okay, uh year probation. She didn't have the right paperwork. So I was like, oh my God. So we start walking away, and as I'm walking out, something came over me. And I turned her back to the judge and I said, I have to be honest with you. You don't have the right paperwork. And if I leave here today, I'm gonna do something terrible to myself or to somebody else. I need help. I just said it. I blurted out, and I promise you, lady, that wasn't me. I don't know. Some higher power, some something came over me that I just said it. I blurted it out. And my mother, who was so funny, she's like, You little fuck, come on, let's get out of here. Shut up, shut up, shut up, get in the car, get in the car, get in the car. And then, of course, you know, and of course, 30 seconds later, I regretted saying anything. But the judge came around, she gave me a hug, and she said, What do you what's wrong? And I says, I need help. I was like 98 pounds. I was a total crack, I was smoking crack day and night, 98 pounds, eight of it was my hair. It was the mid-80s. My hair was like this, and my fucking I had a stiff neck for years. I didn't know what was my hair. I still got crazy about it. Anyway, mid-mid-80s, and uh, she put me in rehab and she sentenced me to two months in that rehab, and it saved my life. And uh that was a long time ago, and I've been clean and sober, uh coming up on 36 years. Wow, it really changed my life. But you know, not everybody's so fortunate to get it so young. I I know that. I know that I was blessed with uh with a with a shot. You know, and I I dropped out of school in eighth grade. A lot of people don't know that, never went to high school. So to me, there wasn't any plan B. You know, it was like I fell in love with show business and I fell I fell in love with not show business, I fell in love with performing and storytelling. That's what I fell in love with. And so uh there just came a day when I was like, I gotta do this no matter what it takes.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

And you were 24 at that time. This was after your mom died.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Yeah, my mom and I used to go to this uh local theater in my neighborhood. I was newly sober a couple years. She had a friend named Pat Carpenter. And another, well, we come to have another friend named Robin years later. But Pat Carpenter, we used to go see him in all these community theater plays. And I thought, wow, this is cool. I can't believe this guy's on stage in front of all these people. That's crazy. And so when we would leave, my mother would be like, Look at you, you're all pumped up. You should try it. I'm like, I can't get in front of those people, you know, no way. And so, long story short, we ended up uh sheep died at 53 and I was 24. And I called that guy and I said, Hey, I do want to try it. I I I have this fascination with it. And would you I didn't even know it was called an audition. I thought it was called a tryout because I'm a sports guy. So I was like, if you hear about a tryout, I'd like to try out for a play, you know? And that was uh late '95. My mom was gone. I was like, what the worst has happened to me. I was a mama's boy. I'm like, what am I gonna do? Who cares if they say no? Like, you know, and I got and I got my first yes. Bill Cecilberg gave me a yes and uh changed my life. And I remember opening night walking out, and I remember it was like I got hit with an arrow. You know, it was like that thing where you go like a hundred people, it was a sold-out crowd, a hundred people come bursting through the door, and and and they're just waiting for you, you know, and there's this relationship with the audience. And I literally knew then what I was gonna do with the rest of my life. I didn't know if I was gonna make any money. I thought, well, I have to sleep for a couple hours, and then I might have to get a J O B during the day, but I know what I'm gonna do in the evening. I'm gonna act, I'm gonna try to find other plays that I want to be a part of this. I fell in love with it. And it was a way of, I don't know, it was like healing in a way, and it was in some way therapy in a way, like finally having a place to put all the stuff I've been carrying around. You know, my whole childhood, my whole teenage life, my mom missing her, and and just all my bad decisions, all my good decisions, it all had a place. I could, I could, if I could just, and I had no bad habits, I didn't know what acting was. I said, You want me to learn these words and walk over there and say, I'm okay. And now you want me to be mad? I could be mad. You know what I mean? Because it was all right here, it was bubbling. At the everything was at the edge of my tongue, you know. It was magic. And and I and I fell in love. And so I've been so blessed. I only did community theater for about a year, and then I was in uh I got my first professional job in Tony and Tina's wedding. Uh, it was my first job in Philadelphia. And uh That was the play version. Yeah, the play. Yeah, the last the last job I had outside of show business was the summer of '98. I worked at the macaroni grill. I was a waiter at the macaroni grill. That was my last job. And that's why I taught myself how to write. I taught myself how to direct. I'm a natural producer, but I taught myself how to actually be a producer because I wanted to make a living in show business, and I didn't want anyone to I didn't want to wait in the breadline, you know. I wanted to create the opportunities for myself and others.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

So And what brought you to Los Angeles? So you because you were doing this back east, but what brought you to LA?

SPEAKER_01 37:32

I got an opportunity to do a national tour of Tony and Tina's wedding. First I was in Philly, then national tour. And I finished the tour in Houston, and a dear friend of mine at the time, who was a television star, said, Okay, so you're halfway between New Jersey and Los Angeles. What are you gonna do if you go back to New Jersey? I said, probably work at San Remo Pizza and forget that I'm an actor. Which there's nothing wrong with that, but I knew that there was something else calling me, you know. I was like, I don't know. She's like, Come out to LA, I have a bedroom for you. Come stay here. And she was a big TV star, and I was like, oh, okay. So I drove my little Toyota across the country, got my SAG card on 90210, when it was a huge hit. And uh that's where I got my SAG card. So it began, and I I got work pretty much right away. I mean, uh yeah, I was really blessed, and um it's just been a hell of a ride. Now I've been out here since January 5th of 99. So it's a long time.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

So I want to go back a second. You also have a play, Bill W talking about the the two men who started AA, which I find fascinating that you pick these two incredible, iconic people to do shows about. Why Bill W?

SPEAKER_01 38:55

You know, as a sober guy myself and seeing what the program had done for me, I've always been kind of fascinated with this story of like these two men through this chance meeting. If they didn't, if everything didn't fall into place the way it didn't, I could take it literally take you through like this had to happen, that had to happen, this cancellation, this thing, blah, blah, blah. And then they suddenly, these two men are in a room together, and and it's you know, it's Mother's Day, 1935. And before that, they're tying these guys down to beds, these alcoholics, they're throwing them away. They didn't know what to do with these people. They were putting them in insane asylums. And then these two men came together of what was supposed to be a 15-minute meeting. Bill, Dr. Bob was really shaky and beat up. He was really struggling. And Bill Wilson had been sober five months on his own, white knuckling. And Bill had this thought. He was about to pick up a drink. He was on business in Akron, Ohio. He was about to walk into a bar. And he had a thought and said, Bill, you need another drunk to talk to. And nobody had ever thought of that, like just as much as he needs you. So he made, he went to a church directory called uh 10 numbers, finally got to a woman, Henrietta Cyberling. And the Cyberlings are the the people who own Goodyear Rubber and Tire. The niece of uh the owner of Goodyear Rubber and Tire is the one who connected Bill and Bob, uh, which is just a funny little tidbit. But anyway, Bill had this idea, he wanted to just tell his story for 15 minutes to Dr. Bob. Dr. Bob said, I'll give you 15 minutes. Then they talk for six hours. They stayed for six hours together. And the miracle that happened, it's it's two men and a cup of coffee. It just changed the world. And so I've always been fascinated and it saved my life. And uh, and Bill Wilson is definitely not a character somebody would cast me in Hollywood. I they have no imagination, usually. I kind of look like him. Bill, I do not. But I said, you know what, I want to tell this story, and uh, I got the rights, the sole rights in the world to the play, and now I have the rights. It's six actors, and so it's a little different than my one-man show. But I'm on tour with that show as well. And uh, in fact, uh my wife books both shows around the country. She's the boss. I introduce her to everybody as my supervisor. I sound like you mean so my supervisor, Janelle, books the show, both shows, and there's a lot of cities that I'm doing back-to-back nights, one night as Lenny and one as Bill, since I'm in town. And it's really cool to see like this this man, Lenny Bruce, who really changed the world and struggled with addiction and never found recovery, and then Bill Wilson, who is responsible for the biggest 12-step program. And to play both of those and sometimes in a 24-hour period, is is super cool. You know, it's uh I feel very blessed that I I really don't believe there's accidents in the world. I feel like you kind of go down a path and things come to you. And I guess I somehow was blessed enough to have these two things dropping. I mean, it comes from a lot of hard work.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

I don't I don't really believe in luck too much, but from what I heard of your story and talking to you now, I really get the feeling that God has given you a mission. I'm a big believer in God, not so much religion, but I have a personal relationship with God. I've been in 12-step programs, I've done a bunch of the stuff. My background is, and I've shared this on the show. My mother was a prostitute, my father was a pimp, he was a numbers man, he did all kinds of illegal things. I grew up in a ghetto and you know, saw the rough side of everything, unlike you.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

They sound like my people, which is.

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Oh, yeah, unlike you. And and and uh I heard you say this, and I I I want to say this because at the end of my show, um, I say I didn't get my mom and dad together while they were alive, but I got them now. They're buried in the same plot. Um mommy's on the bottom and poppy's on top. And so I wanted to share that because I heard you say at the funeral, your father showed up for your mother and started talking to her. And then you you gave a great uh little uh bit. Share that bit.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

All right, I'll tell you, it was I I wasn't trying to be funny, it just came out of me. So what happened was my mother and father, you know, they split when I was 11, and my mother died when I was 24, so like 13 years they were separated. He had remarried, my mother never did, and so my mother died a young woman. And so here she is, and she my everybody in the neighborhood loved my mother. She was the neighborhood mom. I come home from school, there's six kids from my school eating leftovers at my table. She was she was the mom. If you had a problem with drugs, you had a problem with alcohol, you needed five dollars, you come see my mother. And she would take, she was, she was such a she was the bosom of the neighborhood, you know? And so anyway, so everybody loved her. So here we are at the funeral, the wake, and there's 300 people in a room that fits a hundred, and nobody's seen my dad in years, and it's and it's really loud, and you know, Rosie this and Rosie that, and everybody's laughing and telling stories, and it was really loud. All of a sudden, my dad he walks in, and everybody's like, Oh, Joe, Joe Malmo's here, Joe Malmo's here. So it got real quiet. And he walks over, and he wasn't doing well at that time, and he walks over, he had a cane who was working with at the time, and he literally opened casket. My brother and I are right at the casket, sitting there, and he literally starts saying, Rosie, I gotta talk to you. I wanna tell you, I want to tell you what happened. I want to tell you why I left. I have to talk to you. So I was like, So everybody's like, oh man. And so everybody's like, just say, and you know, it's not a dry eye in the house. He's like, Rosie, you were too much of a woman for me. I couldn't, I was chasing this and that. I you were too strong. I didn't want that in my life, you know, whatever he was saying, right? So all of a sudden I turn to my brother, and it's really quiet. I go, I look at my mom and I look at my dad, and I go, I guess mommy and daddy aren't getting back together. And everybody starts laughing. But I was being genuine because as a kid, you always think, like, you know, maybe maybe they'll meet in a bar someday. You know, maybe they'll go, hey, you know, you wanna you want to get something to eat? Let's let's go, let's go have a slice of pizza, you know, whatever. Yes, you want that. That's somewhere. You don't think about it somewhere, you know. Yeah. It was just it was it was so it was wild. And so, you know, thankfully my dad and I, the last couple of years, last like five years, we we we made amends, and uh he was my best friend, you know, last couple years of his life. So he died at 66. So no regrets there. All was all was forgiven, you know. I know he's my dad, but he's just a guy, you know, and so this is this is what happens. We we we learn that we start to see our parents as people, as flawed people, with dreams, with with heartbreak, with challenges.

SPEAKER_00 46:25

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

But I love I love Love them and miss them terribly. And uh, but you know, there's a part of me, neither one of my so my I remember going to my dad saying, Hey dad, and he's an old school Brooklyn guy, dad's everywhere, you know, and he was like, uh they used to say Joe Marmor was the toughest guy in Brooklyn in the 50s. He was a badass. And so, but a gentle giant, like he's bad, but he was like just so sweet, a big heart. And I remember saying, Yo, dad, I was thinking, man, I was thinking uh about being an actor. And he goes, he goes, act like what, man? What do you mean, act like my father, you would think he spoke jive. You would think he was black. No, man, what the hell are you talking about, man? No, Dad, I was thinking about like, you know, maybe trying to be like in the movies, you know? Oh man, get out of here, man. We don't, that's not not us, not our people, right? And then I'll never forget when I was in a movie, he saw them, he saw me in a movie. And he stood in the front of the whole movie theater. That's my son. He was going crazy, he was going crazy. So and then he went every day to the movie, every day.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

You're in that. That's beautiful. Yes, I love it. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 47:33

Yeah, you know, they they didn't know what the hell they were doing, you know. And your parents, your parents, man, that's a hell of a story. I can't wait to see your show. I hope I get to see it.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

We're putting it back up soon. I'm working on it now. I'll be there.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

I'll be there.

SPEAKER_00 47:46

I worked with kids who were in the California Youth Authority for probably about 12 years as an artist in residence. Hearing your story, it just reminded me of all these kids that I knew, boys and girls. They just needed proper guidance. Most of them just needed somebody to pour into them. And so, what I love about your story and your mission, because it's it going back to the spiritual aspect, I believe we're all bought here for a purpose. There, you know, we're not here haphazardly, that we've been given special abilities, special gifts for our neighbors to help other people. And listening to your story, I hear the doctor in you. I hear the medicine that you bring, that as an artist, because I I'm of the belief that artists are healers. That is who we are. We are healers, and I don't poo-poo that at all. And listening to you between Lenny Bruce and Bill W and sharing from a place of where you grew up in, it makes a big difference. It's not just, I'm giving a performance. You are actually, um I'm putting words in your mouth right now, but you are actually healing people when they come into the venues because you know what it's like. You know what it's like not to be treated like a human being, not to be respected, not to be listened to, not to be uh encouraged. Here were two men who were not encouraged, and you're bringing that into the acting class. And so I just wanted to just put that out there to you because I believe God has us here for a purpose. I believe, you know, beyond religion, that we are here to learn stuff, but we are also here to give stuff. That there's a scripture in the Bible that says iron sharpens iron. And as we are sharpening, we are being sharpened. As I learn from you, I am getting stuff, and you're getting stuff as the teacher. You know, I don't believe, I don't believe you can be a teacher and pour into people and not get stuff back.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Oh, it's the whole thing. It doesn't work like that. No, I love that, Lydia. That's awesome. And I we I we have a very shared belief and we're very aligned.

SPEAKER_00 50:19

Yeah. And I love God. I love God, and I love I love the fact that we get to be on this planet and and and be able to dispense a part of that to people, you know, because we could spend our time being miserable, being bitter, being jealous, being angry, but when you go and and I'm going back to the the quote you said, when we can get out of our way and just be the vessel, not just in in our performances, but just as human beings, just be the vessel, right? Just this isn't it, it had nothing to do with me, it's it's all about you. So I I just wanted uh to put that in because sometimes we don't see ourselves and we need other people to put the mirror to us and seeing you and seeing what you accomplished. It wasn't luck, it wasn't by accident. You are on the God journey, whether you knew it or not, back then, you know, those those friends of yours didn't survive. I had a bunch of friends that didn't survive. But I believe when when God drops something in you, it changes you forever. It's like you can't see the old way anymore. You you are on a different path. And so, as artists, that is, I think that's what we all should strive for is how can I be the best artist? How can I, how can I help you? What can I do for you? You were talking about giving actors their flowers. And I think that's, you know, that's the beauty of being a mentor. That's the beauty of being a coach, that's the beauty of being a director, being able to guide people in the most gentle and encouraging way, but giving them nuances that change their lives. So that's the end of my min of my uh uh preaching, but I just wanted to say that.

SPEAKER_01 52:21

Well, I love I love everything you said, and you know, we have a very shared belief as well in in a higher power and what that looks like because the word God could scare people off and offend people, because not everybody has the same vision of that. And so I just want to say that, you know, anybody watching, it's like I grew up, I'm I'm a recovering Catholic, you know what I mean? Because uh and I don't mean to offend the Catholics watching this, but I could tell you that, you know, Lenny Bruce had a great quote in the 60s before anybody spoke like this, which is why it got him in a lot of trouble. He said, you know, a lot of people are leaving the church and finding God. And it is true today. I really think it's even more true today. Because God and religion uh should not be mixed in a in a sense, because of the business aspect of that, and hypocrisy and all that. So to me, God is my greatest, highest self, my best self. It's when I'm living in love and prayer and uh and and I'm being patient and I'm being kind and I'm being helpful, and I'm being I'm living in God's grace, you know? Because I know that word could scare people off, and I no longer feel the way I used to feel about it, which was, and again, not to offend anybody, but I, you know, if you ask me to believe in a guy in the clouds sitting in a chair, to me that's equivalent to Santa Claus. I have no relationship with that idea. But if you ask me in my darkest times or my greatest moments, when I felt like I wasn't walking alone and I was walking hand in hand with something and I had a relationship with my highest self and all that, I think that saved me because to think that we're all banging into each other and nothing's happening is is a scary idea. And so I I don't believe that, and I I hear that you don't either, and so that's beautiful, you know. I um it's it's tough enough this world. So we gotta just figure out what works for us and and and put our hand out to others, and you know, I'm at my best when I'm of service, you know, and and my my life is so much more rich. I mean, I think about anytime I'm in a funk, if I pick up the phone and ask and call you and say, How are you? it all goes away. It fixes itself. It's like we're so we get so caught up in self and self and self. It's a tough way to live, you know, because you squeeze it too much and it's hard to watch it take flight, you know.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

Which brings me to how do you today overcome challenges that you may have?

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Uh well, that's a big it's a you know, I guess it depends on the challenge, but but I do have a working relationship with a higher power. Uh, I truly do. So I do turn I I turn my life of my will over often to something greater than myself. It's easier.

SPEAKER_00 55:04

What does that look like?

SPEAKER_01 55:05

In a practical application? Yeah, what does that look like? I do in in the program they have a thing called the 10th step, which at the end of the night you kind of take personal inventory of your day and you kind of assess where you've if you've wronged anyone, do you owe it an amends? Were you impatient? Were you unkind? Were you bop up? So I'm really present to my surroundings. And in the old days, because there's nothing that feels better than a good old resentment. Who doesn't love who doesn't love a good resentment? That's shit, man. I get I I love I like I like being mad. I actually like being mad, you know, but I know it doesn't serve me. And so in the old days, it's like I would sit around, I would sit around a campfire with a sweater on, and the embers would come off, and I it would drop on my thing, and I just watch it burn. That resentment, yeah. I like the way that feels. But today I quickly go, I see the ember and I go, I get it off real quick, and I go, how can I I do I owe you an amendment? What what can I do? How can I help? What can I I quickly go into action? I'm not perfect at it, but I'm way further along than I used to be. And so that it's the practical application of being present and realizing the world doesn't revolve around me. And uh everything that comes to me is because of what I'm putting out. When when I'm at my best, that means I'm, you know, of service in a in a real way, not like a you know, a lip service way. Like if if I somehow think I can get something from that situation, you know, manipulation and all that. It's not that. It's like, am I really trying I had a conversation with somebody last night that was long overdue, and it was an hour-long conversation, and I was not happy about this person's behavior repeatedly in a situation in business. And so before I got on the phone, I said a little prayer and I said, you know, I want to see if I could see their perspective rather than telling them mine. And so we got on the phone, I let them talk first, and they talked for a while, and I said, I see your point of view. Now, if it's okay, would you open your mind and your heart? Let me show you my and we end up talking about an hour about, you know, the problem was about a 10-minute conversation, and the rest was about love and art and creating, and because nobody had to be right. And I and I find that when I'm living in God's grace, it it just feels good to be heard, but also be kind enough. You never know what people are going through. You see those slogans everywhere, and it's uh you always think, ah, stupid slogan, it's a bumper sticker. But it's true. You know how many people if you walk down the street right now and you run into anybody, you say, You need a hug? Can I give you a hug? Most people would go, Thank you. They they might even fall apart.

SPEAKER_00 57:56

I like to walk up to people and say, Can I pray for you? That's what I do. Yeah, can I pray for you? Yeah, because I if you see the pain on somebody to say, You are, you know, can I pray for you? I, you know, just so they know somebody cares. Somebody, um, something I learned from one of my mentors as a teenager, that he would always say, I worked at a radio station. I barged my way into a radio station at 13 and stayed there until I was 18. And so my boss slash mentor used to say, It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice.

SPEAKER_01 58:34

I like that. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 58:36

And so if we remember as artists to be nice, you know, we are fighting so hard to be important that we forget to be nice and caring. You know, and you you said something about resentment. I think as actors, uh and and this is something that I started teaching myself, is like when something dramatic happens, I go, okay, remember this for your art. Save it for the stage. And you know, keep know what it is, but for the stage. And I started because you know, I'm from New York and we're dramatic and we want, you know, and I'm Puerto Rican and black and we like to fight. And and I I would and I would say, okay, if they don't pay for it, they can't get the drama. You know, and so as actors, because you know, we're talking about, you know, living a good life, but as actors, we gotta bring the drama. So you have to be able to balance how to live a good life, but know how to pull out that stuff when you need it.

SPEAKER_01 59:40

Well, sure, you know, and and that's that's what I mean about like if you could create from that place, that's where the magic is. That's when people come to see you at the theater or in a movie or whatever on TV. That's when they see themselves in you because you're willing to share that. It's share that truth and that authenticity. That's when people are attracted to your work. It's like, wow, I felt that. I don't even know why. I, you know, people come see Lenny Bruce and are like, I'm not a comedian from the 60s, why should I care so much? But it's the human story of we've all had something we fought for, we've all had something where we wanted our day in court, and I say that with air quotes. It's like day in court with our spouse, our mother, our father, our children. We all want to, you know, our friend. And we've all wanted that. And so that's why you relate to it. It becomes less about a comedian in the 60s and more about a person who fought their own inner demons, but also fought to be heard and express themselves. And it's uh that's why art is beautiful, it is healing, you know. It's uh we're so lucky that we have a place to put the stuff now. There's a lot of people walking around banging into each other, they have no place to put the stuff. They walk through life like this, but but we have a place to put the stuff. And even the good stuff, you know, that that has value too. It's not all negative. People think, oh, you're an actor, you're supposed to be up moding all the time. No man, when I'm on stage and I'm and I'm talking about as Lenny and I'm talking about Lenny's mom, thinking about my mom. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not faking it, I'm not like I'm he it's healing me because I'm discussing I may be using that material, but I'm bringing my truth through it. You know, you know, you understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:26

And in mindset, because you've done a lot of work for yourself, what are some of the tools that you use to to shut down all those little critics and the jury that is in your head? What are some of the things that you've learned to help you clear the path for yourself?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:47

Well, it's interesting because it comes up more during a performance than it does in a regular day. Because most days I feel pretty optimistic that, like, I could do it, I could do it. I I I know. So I'll say to Janelle, I'll say, So, okay, so you booked that thousand-seat theater, we're gonna go play the theater. All right, great, we're gonna go there, we're gonna do it. It's gonna be awesome. So I have a whole bunch of confidence leading up to it. And then when I get there and the lights come up and I turn and look at the audience, and you know how I start my show, right? Do you know how I start naked in the toilet, on the toilet. So I'm talking about vulnerable. So when when I when I lift my head and I turn my face out to the audience and I'm dead naked on the toilet, and there's a thousand people staring at you. A thousand people, then the self-doubt comes in. Get off the stage. Who the hell do you think you are? These people, and sometimes I'm up there doing math. I in the middle of the day, I'm going, they pay they paid a hundred dollars a ticket to see me. I'll do this for free for them. I don't, I'm not worth a hundred dollars a ticket. There's a thousand people there. There's a hundred thousand dollars. Uh a hundred thousand, is that the man? They make no. No, no, a hundred thousand. There's a hundred thousand dollars. They made a hundred thousand dollars tonight to see this guy, eighth grade dropout who was running the streets, who wasn't always honest, wasn't always authentic. Like, get off the stage. And then the other guy, the other person on the committee says, I'm not, I'm not gonna get off the stage. This is all I got. I care so much. I'm so happy to be here. You know, I want to I want to do this. I want to show these people what I can do. And so, you know, I'm one of those crazy actors that's like, when the New York Times comes, I want them in the front row. When Patty Lapone comes, I want her in the front row. When, you know, all the greats come, Tony Bennett, put them in the front row. Because I want to go, this is me. I got it. This is what, you know, and a lot of people like, please put them in the back. I don't want to know they're here. Actors never want to know the press is there. I want them in the front because this whole thing, this whole thing has been, I feel like I've been getting away with it my whole life. I'm somehow like here I am, a grown man. And I'm like, I told Janelle, if I get to the end of my life and I'm still doing this, I'm gonna be like, oh my God, I got away with it. Nobody told me how to stop. You know what I mean? I I they're gonna go, you got to do that your whole life? That is insane. How'd that happen?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:21

You cleared the way. You cleared the way. You got out the way. That's why it it happened, because you cleared the way. I think it's important for actors listening to this to understand that when you get out of the way, you know, the synergy happens, the blessings happen, right? Because you're you're in your lane. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you're not focused on other things. And I I believe that's what's happened for you. You are a great example of just getting out of the way. No matter what the critics are saying, you have you you've been able to uh balance. Because I do think, you know, if you're getting on stage naked and you're being Letty Bruce, you gotta be vulnerable. There's gotta be some vulnerability in you, and there's gotta be some uh freak out moment if you're gonna really bring that character to life. So I think, you know, part of that is a good thing when you're doing that performance. It's how do you shake it off when you come off the stage? You've done this incredible show. Now, how do you what do you do to deroll from the role?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:33

Yeah. Well, I've done 474 performances of this one-man show. That's a 90-minute monologue 474 times. And it's hardcore. I mean, this show takes everything out of me. We usually end up in a d uh at a diner around midnight eating a big hamburger, and my wife says, You're eating your feelings, aren't you? You know? I'm like, Yeah, because I'm just raw, I'm just destroyed, you know. You know, you you mentioned something earlier, and it made me think you talked about, I don't know how you said it, but something about structure and the lack thereof when I was a teenager. You have to know, Lydia, I never had one time, never one time I remember my mother or father saying, okay, you got to do your homework. No one ever said anything to me. No one asked anything of me. And it and it's sad because I needed that. And so I think now it's like, and I mean this in a positive way, not a negative way, but I think I think it's kind of like when I'm up there with all the humility and love I can muster up, of course. There's a there's a you see, I can do it. I can do it. And you you didn't think I could. And I can. And that's what I tell the the other one to shut up. And because I can do it. And because I I had all the potential in the world. I just had no guidance and no direction, you know? And so I think I think it's about that. And look, in terms of making a living in this business, beyond these two shows, any actors watching, I would say, come early, 15 minutes early, stay late, offer to carry a sandbag, and know your words, know what you're doing, have a plan. Everybody's replaceable. I get so many jobs because of the last job. I can't tell you how many movies I've done because the DP says, oh, by the way, remember I was the DP on that movie, I'm directing this one. Would you be in my movie? You know, I get those all the time because I don't need anything, I don't want anything. I'm kind, I'm I'm I I know I'm very prepared. I uh I have the freedom of preparation. I come in there and I have fun, I have a joke or two ready to go. That's it. And people want to be around kind people, people want to be around prepared people. And so if you're you know, a lot of kids or or even adults want to be movie stars and they don't understand the business aspect of the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:56

And being a team player, because that's what you're saying. You are a team player, and so they want you because you, you know, they want you on their team.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:05

I have the same hopeful enthusiasm and excitement about this business today as I did the day that I walked through, you know, I'll never forget walking on stage, you know, in 1995, the fall of 95. I have that same feeling today. I'm like, oh my god, here I go again. It's happening again. I'm doing it again. And and I hope I never lose it. And and people always say, Lenny, it's Such a beautiful show and the reviews have been great and blah blah blah. And I and I say, I hope I never get good at it, you know. I hope I never get good at this because maybe I'll stop doing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:38

Yeah, I don't know why. I want uh to ask about your relationship with your wife because she's so she's so instrumental in what you do. She is there, she's guiding, she's supporting. Can you talk about a good partnership, you know, to help you in your art?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:00

Absolutely. Well, first of all, she's a fine actor herself, uh in her own. She's had a lot of great opportunities, uh, theatrically, especially commercially. I kind of dragged her into the theater world when we met. She uh was doing improv and stand-up, but she uh so she did some stand-up. And she was great too because she did stand-up just because she was trying to do kind of what we're talking about. It's like, if I'm not gonna get any opportunities, I'm gonna there'll be somebody seeing me perform. I'm gonna give myself a chance to perform. But in terms of our relationship, you know, she realizes that I'm I'm slightly ahead of her, meaning age-wise, they're 15 years between us, 15 years. And so I've been just kind of trudging this road a little longer. And these opportunities that fall in our lap have really given us a beautiful life. Uh we have this great house in Burbank, and you know, we're very blessed. And she's 34 weeks pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:51

I'm about to have a son, another boy, and so, you know, and I've got adult children, you know. And so that's great. But the key for our success is is uh we I would say is that we have a mutual respect for each other. We've been together almost seven years, and we laugh like crazy, and we do shtick. We'll wake up in the middle of the night, like in a dead sleep, and try to make each other laugh, do something stupid. And, you know, as an Italian-American, you know, guy, I had lots of two-year relationships that should have ended after three weeks, but I was, you know, I was like, ah, I'm supposed to be miserable. Let me stick in this relationship. Somehow I just somehow I deserve it. Seven years in, it's better today than it was yesterday, you know. So, and and and basically we have a very authentic, transparent relationship, and it's very honest. And so when we got together before I I you know signed up for the baby and the and the ring, I said, Look, we're gonna, I'm chasing this thing with everything I have, and I have grown children. Can you sign up for that too? And she's like, Hell yeah, yeah. It's just a lot of love and respect, and she's very funny, and um she's very loyal, fiercely loyal, and and so am I. And uh, you know, I I think I think we're we're really lucky to be in this position. And I said, you know, the thing with our son, who's will be here in the next six weeks, which is crazy. Um, it's crazy. Here I go again. It's like I'm Daniel. Every 20 years I'm gonna have a kid. The next one I'm gonna be like, hey, you want to have a baby? Be in my 80s. But but uh I said, this kid is gonna be a showbiz kid. We're not gonna like suddenly give up our life, we're gonna introduce him to our life. You know, a lot of times people get split apart because they break up because they go, Oh, I got a kid now, I gotta do it this way, as opposed to going, okay, well, let's introduce this kid in our life. You're in our life, let's go, let's go, kid. We've got a six-week tour in the Midwest in September, and he's it, we've already planned he's coming. He's gonna be six months old, and uh the little meatball is gonna be on the road with us, and we're just gonna do it. So, because we have to do that, because if you do it the other way, you start giving up too much of yourself, you get resentful, and you lose your magic. Bring the kid in. You know? So, so that's it. We have a lot, we have a lot of respect and love, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:14

I love that. Uh what do you want your legacy to be?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:18

You know, no one's ever asked me that. My first instinctual answer, because I'm sure if you give me a few hours, I'd give you a couple more. But my first instinctual answer is that I want my legacy to be that someone, it wasn't always graceful, but was willing to learn and change and become a person that I'm proud of, that I was always willing to help. I cared about storytelling and the arts, and I cared about, specifically cared about carrying Lenny's message and Bill W's message, continued on, especially Lenny, because Bill W. in a lot of ways, lots of people are carrying his message just every day all over the world. But Lenny, too, was uh continuing his fight for him. That's why we get out when I get on stage and I and I leave myself alone, I just remember I'm fighting for him. I'm doing this for Lenny. It's not like a show I'm in. Like I'm I want people to hear what he was trying to say. So, and just that I'm I'm I'm a good friend and a and a good dad and a good husband. Hopefully I left a left uh I left enough behind where they're talking, you know, they bring you up once in a while when you're gone. I always say there's two times when someone dies, when somebody dies, and then when they stop talking about it. And so hopefully they'll uh, you know, every once in a while I'll go, yeah, you know, remember Ronnie did this, or say help me with that, or you know, just to kind of leave leave that behind, you know. And think of me with a warm smile, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:58

We're towards the end. What is one thing you would like actors to know that could help them on their journey that you've learned in hindsight?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:10

What I've learned is what's scary about this business is you don't know what's around the corner, if anything. And what's beautiful about this business is you don't know what's around the corner. So don't give up. Don't ever give up. Because some days it'll feel bleak, and then the phone rings, and I'm back, baby. Somebody's you know what I mean? Absolutely. We've all been there, absolutely, we've all been there, and so I feel really strongly about that. Some days it feels like nothing's gonna happen, and then there's nothing better when you go, I don't know what's gonna happen. But I think a lot of it is if I could, so that's one thing, but also just saying, don't ever give up, but please start to create your own work. These phones, this phone, I've seen beautiful feature films on this phone. There's no excuse. Give them a reason to come to you, go do the thing, invite them. I I I've always had that mentality. Quick, really quick, funny story. I first got to LA and I didn't have an agent or a manager, I didn't even know what that was really. And so I went up to a huge agency and I knocked on the door, a huge agent, one you would know. And I said, Excuse me, um, I'm here to get an agent. And they go, It doesn't, what do you mean? It doesn't work like that. What are you talking about? I'm an actor, you're an agent. This is an agency, right? The lady goes, yeah. I go, I'm here for an agent. And they go, Well, it just really doesn't work like that. So I go, well, how's it work? She goes, Well, you have to have a monologue. I said, I have a monologue. She's like, Uh, okay, let's get all the agents in one room, and then they have to watch the monologue, and then they talk, and then they all have to agree, and then they sign you. I go, Okay, I'm I'm available. I have that monologue. Can we get the agents together? It was a huge agency, and she's like, Well, I go, could you ask people asking? So she does. She goes in and she asks, and and literally they said, come back in a few hours. So I come back in a few hours, I go in there and I do the monologue for all these agents, and they go, and they sign me.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:28

Look at that.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:29

Because I didn't know any better, and I hope I'm always a little bit, hopefully, I'm naive enough to like not do it correctly. It's like I would say have the balls to do what you want. Try to be graceful and kind and respectful while you're doing it, and let the enthusiasm and passion shine through. Don't be a jerk, but go for what you want. People are people are taken by enthusiasm, especially civility, you know. So, so that that's that's kind of that little story is kind of how I've navigated my career. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:06

I love Ronnie Marmo, and I love actors like him that do not wait for Hollywood. They take it into their own hands, they do what they have to do for their career. Love, love, love, love it. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. I want to know if this conversation got you stirred up, made you want to write your own project, do your own one-person show. I want to hear it all. Let us know in the comments below. And while you're there, buy me a cup of coffee. It helps the show. And if you can't buy me a cup of coffee, then share, like, subscribe, tell all your friends about acting smarter now. And don't go anywhere because we got another great interview coming up with more tools to take your career from where? Undiscovered to unstoppable, baby.